Grief is a full-body experience. This is what I’ve learned in the months since Rayya died: Grief is a living energy field that wants to move through you (the way storms move across the summer sky) and grief can’t move unless you allow it to. Otherwise it settles in your bones, and makes you sink in pain. You can help grief move through you with music and with dance — this is what my friends and I have learned. Those of us who loved Rayya will sometimes come together and dance out our pain, or sing out our pain...just to MOVE, so that our grief can move through us. This video was recorded on the day of Rayya’s funeral. The dancer is my beloved friend @gigimadl, who was Rayya’s ex-wife, and who was there at the end of Rayya’s life to help her transition, and also to help me. (The other round-the-clock caregiver at the end was Rayya’s ex-girlfriend @stay_see15. The love that Gigi and Stacey had for Rayya was bottomless. The loyalty of all these women to each other inspires me, and also saved me in my most difficult moments.) This video was filmed by my friend @marcjfrancis — a filmmaker who is currently working on a documentary about Rayya’s death. (This film was so important to Rayya, and she worked closely with Marc as she was dying, to make it happen. There was so much she wanted to teach people about how to embrace life while simultaneously leaving it.) Marc was there with us through it all — even this moment of raw loss and celebration. The writer Martin Prechtel says that all true grief has an element of rejoicing — but only if you are willing to allow ALL the love and ALL the pain to coexist. We dance because it hurts too much not to. We dance because we are so grateful to have known such deep, foundational love. We dance through our grief and WITH our grief, so that our grief will not sink us. We dance with God. We dance with Rayya. We dance with life and death. Thank you, Gigi. Thank you, Marc.