here's something you may not know about me: i was once in a relationship with someone who controlled everything i ate. it started off subtly, with suggestions of what was healthier than my current diet (if you know me you know i eat mostly garbage) and then escalated to him eliminating certain foods from my diet, texting me everyday to check that i had worked out that day, and frequent discussions on how my body could improve. i had zero idea what i actually looked like. i actually believed my body was not desirable. after that relationship ended it took me a long time to exercise again, and it took me a really long time before i came to love myself, body and soul. it didn't matter that i've looked this way all along; what i actually looked like was not the source of my unhappiness or happiness. the source of my happiness comes from the level of acceptance i have for myself, exactly how i am today, inside and out. i don't know why i had to learn how to love myself through being mistreated, but i am grateful for my experiences. love yourself, forgive yourself and then do the same to others. then post that picture of yourself in a bikini on instagram.