♢ Drug of Choice ♢ I'm in that space again, that empty box of nothingness. For no reason it seems, triggered by this need for loneliness, my confidence in solo motives. Driven by doubt without the need to not trust, so why the fuss? I was so used to relying on me. "We" has always felt too risky. You see "we" has always ended with me, watching the other fly free. So why rely on their inhale to breathe, if all I need is my lungs to be me? No man is an island, but what if you excel in silence? Man was not made to be alone, but what if your mind is what feels most like home? I reject these thoughts in my empty space, for loneliness comes with a sweet smell, yet a bitter taste. It whispers alluring words, but hides it's face. It demands my time, but ignores the needs. It encourages my ego, and feeds my greed. It compliments my efforts, but has no advice. Loneliness is a drug, that never leaves me high. I'm the recovering addict of a self-destructive mindset. I am learning to embrace the beauty in "we". How can love exist if I only rely on me? How blind can I be, to actually believe I'm better off without "we"? I reject this desire to be lonely, with lies it tries to console me. Comfort for the weak, is the prey loneliness seeks, it'll creep into your doubt with false seductive speech. I pray that God will keep me within reach, so I'll never relapse my rejection of "we".