getpumped getpumped

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NICK WOODS  Honcho w/ @directhitband; Dad & Husband w/ @katemke; Writer w/ #whoeverpaysme

Here's @comebackwithsnacks wearing a shirt based on a Facebook status I posted a couple months ago. Thank you all for always believing in me.

Take me out to the ball game asshole ⚾️

Congrats to Ms. Vickie on her retirement, and thanks for spending as much time helping to teach Dot to not suck over the last 18 months as anyone in our family. We're lucky to have had someone who cares!

The child found grandma's stash of clown noses. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. Like your god, I provide no answers.

Fuck you

Paid $3 to have a man push me on a swing today

❤️ u doods 📸: @chelseabrianphotography

This is a 100+-page manuscript for a story I wrote in the 6th grade that I thought I'd lost after putting the floppy disc on which it resided through the wash in my Jnco jeans. I printed exactly one (1) copy to prove to my mom I wasn't staying up all night every night watching porno (that came later). She found it and gave it back to me today. None of you will ever read it, but if you look real close, you might be able to make out a few words on the front page. It would be extremely tight if I could find the energy to write something like this again some day. I can tell you it contains extensive use of the Papyrus font in the body copy, and involves dragons, and a system of pneumatic tubes built by an elvish society in the jungle.

Preview shot from family photos this weekend is prolly gonna be the best one anyway. We had the baby tattooed in the delivery room. Hire @chelseabrianphotography k?

📸:@katemke - "Four Stupid Dogs"

The next time Amazon tells you "oh you need a dank-ass patio table but not without $1100" you stick your middle finger in its face and walk on down to Herm Depot where $150 of pre-cut boards, screws, stain, polyurethane, a lil bit of elbow grease, and a killer wife who does all the planning and actually pays attention to detail can net you this sweet piece of furniture to drink shitty beer on with your pals. Tell them a screaming man who smelled like gas sent you.

This guy's been writing about this town for longer than any of your shitty bands #theman #tompetty

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