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gavinmakesacookie gavinmakesacookie

214 posts   707 followers   963 followings

hi i'm gavin  scott pilgrim but ten times more insecure.

y’all know what day it is

going down

love of my life. 📸 my mom

everybody left me,
but i know just where they are

there are warning signs
laid upon my bed
hung up on my walls
running through my head,

and there is nobody to talk to,
There’s nobody at all,
There is no one in my hallway
except the spiders who crawl

Through my fingers and through up to my nose,
Through my sinuses and goes-
to my brain, to my thoughts,
she ran her fingers down back,
said it was called respect ,
and you should own up to it.
babe,
You smoke too much cigarettes
i say it relieves my stress
knowing my lungs are failing
Teeth are rotten, yellow,
nicotine is a scapegoat
but i will not kiss you until i know,
how the futures going to go,
You’re too invested in yourself,
It’s too infested in this house.

it was cold stale and old
You took of your shirt and i went for a smoke ,
you’re too invested in yourself,
it’s too infested in this house.

it’s Christmas, all over again ❄️☃️🎄

5 years later-
the tide-
he stares into the tide
the place where it died
His hair dances in the wind
with his tongue behind his teeth.

the waves turn white
at the tips as they crash
Everything was lost,
like that, in a flash.

He stares into the tide,
anger in his eyes.
He clenches his fist,
Fear resides.

The seaweed washes in,
as he wishes for it back.
he knows there’s no hope,
it’s a thing his life will lack.

the flame of rage gets brighter in his mind
“it’s gone!” He screams,
“it’ll never come back, like a runaway dog,
that I’ll never find”

he falls to the ground,
his knees in the sand.
he raises his fist
and punches the land.

taking deep breaths,
he calms himself down,
his teeth, clenched in anger,
turns back into a frown.
he stands up.
he stares into the tide,
the place where it died.
he ponders, a tear in his eye.

he steps into the tide.
—�—�—�—�—�—�—
this was the first serious poem I ever wrote, and one that I’ve been keeping hidden for oh so long, due to how terrible it is, but I think it’s important. Five years ago today, it felt hopeless. I felt hopeless, we all felt hopeless. As a mere ten year old I walked the streets I used to ride my rusted bike down for ice cream, now glancing at carts of food delivering to people crying on the sides of roads, bearing gas masks instead of smiles and tears instead of warm welcomings. The smell of the salt from the air that filled my little lungs with unimaginable bliss was now overcast with ash, as metaphorical fires ravished old polaroids of what the town used to be and never will seemingly be again.
but now we’re back, we are strong. sure, some people don’t have houses, but instead of “stepping into the tide,” giving into our hopelessness, we overcame the tide in a tsunami of helping hands and shoulders to grasp onto. We rode our paper boats down streams that carried us unevenly through years of rebuilding, and ended up here. Safe and sandy, but the good kind. the kind of sandy we’re not afraid of.

⚰️🔪🎃

-
synthesize our fluorescent hearts
tessellate my hand and yours
bring down the moon and stars
a gravitational burning when we're apart.
two souls strung out on vibrant endorphins,
fingers crossed, turning distorted organs,
when my hand's on your face
your snowy skin,
if I was a castle you'd be the king,
valiantly fragile things,
singing like the ice is thin,
im falling for you
Into your blood red hues
a thing I fear to lose but grasp onto every bit of sight I can manage to get when your face lights up and your eyes turn into dilating crescent moons.
I love you.
-words im too scared to say in person.

-
too much modern baseball
and caffeine shots
doing lines of regrets
drinking to forget

string lights around your forehead
to assume your mind is bright
draw attention to the illumination
the elephant in the door,
rehabilitation.

so dress in black
and don't come back
you'll remember things that make you nostalgic,
but they haven't ended yet
they haven't ended yet
they haven't ended the scene,

flashback to a paradise
a rebirth of your social life
an unforgettable wine stain on the carpet of your future wife.

so dress in red
I'm sure it's all in your head
with conversations that burst into explosions,
and you say you're okay,
but I'm not okay,
im fucking envious
and it's obvious.

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