Some of you may remember me taking a trip to Portland about five months ago. I went there to escape a painful situation that was causing me lot of heartache. I stayed at a nice AirBnB and in my room, there was this poster hung up on the wall near my bedside. It’s of the twelve bridges that connect the Downtown Portland area from one side of the Willamette River to the other. When I woke up, I’d open my eyes up to see this poster. It brought me such peace and comfort. I loved how bright and yellow it was and how it shared with me a unique piece of the city that people wouldn’t normally think about. I kept thinking about how much I would love to take that poster back with me. The day I was leaving for home, I stopped by Powell’s, a famous bookstore in Portland and a place I frequented quite a bit during my trip, but it was only then I had noticed that they were selling the posters. Now it hangs up on this wall in my office.
The reason I brought up this story was because yesterday, I was put in a situation that forced me to reminisce on this past pain. This morning, when I walked into my office, I stared at it the same way I did on that trip, remembering that feeling of comfort it brought me. I can’t emphasize enough how little things like this helped recenter me. There were some days I felt so low, I didn’t want to leave my bed. But after staring at the picture, on that trip, I would get out of bed and start making music. When I find myself in such a fragile state, I make my best work. I notice a lot of artists and musicians see this also in themselves and mistake this as needing to be depressed to be good at an art form. It was after that trip that I realized, at least for myself, what the actual reason behind this was. It had nothing to do with the depression. It’s because I’m in my most vulnerable state of being and I am the most human I can possibly be in those moments. To transcend those feelings into music is one of the most mystical and beautiful experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. So, while I have the chance, I’m going to take this moment of weakness and turn it into something beautiful.
All that from a poster. ✨