the person responsible for my assault/rape preyed on me when I only 8 years old. in school, he was the janitor. I can talk about it because from the trauma, my brain completely blocks it out. the only thing that reminds me it was real are the nightmares, the notes from countless therapy sessions I don't remember, and from what my mom has told me. I've forgotten over a year of my life thanks to my brain thinking it's helping me. if I ever get too upset or feel any emotion too intensely, I go dark and have no memory of it. now, I have to live in fear of being angry or too happy because of what happens in my brain. there have been times with ex boyfriends, random men, and even people I thought were friends, and I was always too afraid to speak up. you're not alone. you're brave. we stand together, not as victims, but survivors.