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ffionsnaith ffionsnaith

500 posts   11600 followers   799 followings

être dans la lune  Ffion, London, freckle-faced-feminist, comparative literature student, artist, occasional poet and professional daydreamer. ffionsnaith@hotmail.co.uk

http://apothecium.tumblr.com/

I've been desperately trying to break away from my coffee addiction lately, do any of you have any tips? I've been really into matcha as a substitute for it, so much so that I made a matcha and lavender cheesecake spontaneously last night! I've never really considered myself a baker (Just to clarify, I still don't), but I'm excited to start baking now that I have more time on my hands! Im considering starting an actual lifestyle blog where I'd write articles/ recipes etc, would anyone be interested? (Also she types all this up sipping on a coffee, so much for breaking away from coffee, typical Ffion).

I'm constantly rearranging my flat at the moment/ wishing I was less of a restless person. .

I'm really excited to incorporate these prints from @inkifi_instagram into my flat- I've always loved Polaroid prints but have never had enough money to justify buying an actual Polaroid camera so inkifi is the answer to my prayers. Any ideas for how I can display them now?📖

So once upon I time I used to refuse to buy sketchbooks for my art classes and would steal books from the school library to covert into makeshift sketchbooks instead.

Perks of having an abundance of books as a small human? Makeshift ladders for anything beyond my reach. What are you all up to this weekend?📖🌿

When I was younger

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I used to think my knuckles

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Were tiny mountains.

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That's why when I feel

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like plummeting rock bottom

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I know I can withstand it.

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I've carried mountains
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around with me since the day

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I was born, afterall.

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Silly little concept/painting/ poem I wrote. Trying to do this whole creativity thing again. Comment your thoughts below

Things that block my happiness:
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self blame
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Not being able to let go of the past
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Not being able to forgive yourself

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Not being able to cherish who you are

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Needing validation from others

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Letting other people define who you are

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Trying to be perfect

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Trying to please everyone
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Valentine's is a day for spreading love but don't forget to be kind to yourselves first.

"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book"
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Name the quote! Nothing beats lazy days spent in bed reading, listening to Bon Iver and fuelling my coffee habit. I'm absolutely in love with this print @bookishlyuk sent me. It's the perfect statement for any bookworm📖

On mental health and growth:
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As some of you might know, around three months ago I was sectioned in a psychiatric ward. since then coming to terms with my diagnosis has been hard. I have bipolar affective disorder, something I have most likely suffered with for most of my life but has gone unnoticed. At first the news was utterly incomprehensible and I felt like there was something inherently wrong with who I am as a person- which I know now is not the case. It took some time, but it has finally sunk in and explains a lot about my behavioural patterns in the past. it's been quite disorientating in a sense, I guess, as I've began to question my sense of self. trying to figure out how much of "me" is me as an isolated entity as such (if that makes sense?), opposed to the "me" wound up and led by my manic/depressive episodes is a draining thought and a hole I can't afford to fall into.
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Shortly after having been discharged from the ward I started medication; whilst my moods have settled down significantly due to mood stabilisers, I can't help feeling slightly, well, flat. In "Crossing the Water" by one of my favourite poets Sylvia Plath, she talks about "black cut-paper people". I think I know what she means. I guess in some sense I should be thankful about it? At the moment I'm just crossing the water, devoid of any fluctuating waves or the sensation of drowning which have tormented me in the past. I've just got to keep on floating steadily, be patient with myself and understand that fixating on trying to excavate the real "me" is a pointless exercise because we're all constantly growing and changing.
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"Are you not blinded by such expressionless sirens? This is the silence of astounded souls"- Sylvia Plath

Found this video of @nostalgim spying on me in my natural habitat. If friends aren't for candid photos and videos what are they for? I'm really missing my room back at home, but at the same time the idea of having a blank canvas to work with in my flat in London is the best feeling. Each time I go back home I end up dismantling my room and taking parts back with me though, which is sad. Moving on and leaving behind the safe space I created growing up is hard I guess. Can anyone else relate to this? I'm tempted to make a video tour of my old room to encapsulate it before it's too late- what do you think? Love to all☕️📖

Looking back on all the art I made in school always makes me so nostalgic! This is by far one of the pieces I'm most proud of despite all the stress and tears that went into painting and folding those butterflies under strict deadlines (time management has never been my forte). I'm really keen to start working with new mediums now that I have more time on my hands- what would you be interested in seeing? My head's been swarming with ideas lately. Love to everyone whatever you're up to today☕️

What do you mean I can't lounge around in pyjamas every day of the week?
Been trying to do this whole self love thing recently (exhibited by the fact that I've uploaded more pictures of myself in the past few months than I have for the duration of about 5 years). Wishing y'all a lovely cozy Sunday☕️

Saturday's are made for endless cups of tea, wrapping myself up in blankets, lighting candles and doodling away to my heart's content.

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