I used to hate going to church as a kid, my mom had to drag me there and I couldn't wait for this long boring hour to get over .then when I moved out I had the 'freedom ' not to go anymore and felt relieved for a while, it felt like i could skip a homework 😏 With time I realized though that I kinda do miss those moments of my childhood, the mysterious oriental chanting, the scent of burning incense , the feeling of community with others and the connection to a higher magical power . And so from time to time I started going again nevertheless unable to concentrate and be really present . I was baptized as a child and had my first communion though never read the New Testament carefully, I figured it's another narrow minded book full of dogmatic backward ideologies . God had to slap me in the face to Suddenly realize what an arrogant idiot I was . I only had misconceptions and prejudices.
I See things now from a fresh perspective, I see love, hope, warmth, strength ... how foolish to think that we are strong without the grace of god .
I now go to holy mass almost daily, and am addicted to praying the saint rosary . I still do find the music though terribly cheesy and don't like the German corny church tunes at all 🙌🏻 I'll get used to it ☘️🌹