With concepts like resurrection and free will floating around today, and looking back on the past 4-5 years, wanting to regain the optimism and hope I once had about everything. The feeling of just drifting and going through the motions, a fog of lethargy, is not only getting old, it's draining and crushing, enough to leave no room for anything except the desire to sleep. Not that support helps, or exercise, dieting, trying new projects, the futility of anything creates a meekness so difficult to describe at times it seems laughable. First world problems maybe. In the process of overcoming this dragged out spiral of melancholy a lot of passions have fallen by the wayside, like an extinguished spark, a unwelcome and unrecognizable feeling of passivity. No reason to write all this out, since there's no use dragging others down as they move in happiness or at least contentment.