This is for all peeps who have the courage to stand tall and fight their never ending war with addiction. I'm a recovering heroin addict. My relationship with speedballin is a love/ hate relationship. Loved the excitement of being in my car stabbing myself with needles in crowded parking lots. It was like jumping through a vortex of ringing ears and leaving everything I ever knew behind me for complete peace. However that was it, everything else that comes after that is pure hatred. Hate for the long an painful schizophrenic nights, the shameful acts for more and more and more which always ends as never enough, having a anorexic decaying body where as a male I received respect from no one, agonizing cold turkey detoxes in freezing jail cells, yet what I hate most of all was the lost of love and emotions I had for my friends and family. While high, if you weren't helping me get my next fix you didn't mean shit to me. I'm so thankful for my family; all the shit I put them through they stuck by my side. How I've kept needle free for 5 years, is by keeping all the hate I have for heroin known cause I can't/ will not put my family through that again. I Love you Ryan.