emgainstrength emgainstrength

433 posts   13,987 followers   1,168 followings

Emele (em-ill-ee) 🌈  📍Ireland ♡ PT in training💪🏼 ♡On a mission to help others by sharing my story and ⠀ ⠀ rambles ♡ BP Code: BP4733 ♡@IdealFituk Code:EM10

pt.2 🙎🏽‍♀️Opinion of women in fitness

I remember being in a hairdressers with my mam back in the day, (maybe a good 11 years ago) and while looking through one of those cheap, rubbish talking magazines I vividly remember pointing out how amazing this female bodybuilder looked. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I never batted an eyelid to the fact that she was female and was strong like that, because it should be equally accepted as man like arnie is. (And back then I knew no different)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s great to see so so many more women venturing into the weights area in particular after it being such a male dominated area for so long. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Regardless of what type of training / excercise someone may do, women in fitness show that they have the ability to be powerful, strong, determined and prove that men aren’t the only ones capable of that.
At times I feel the perception some may have is that women in the gym are there to grow their glutes and go. An idea that every girl must be kicking their legs back on cable machines, carrying a resistance band whilst waltzing around in the trendiest activewear. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Where as the reality is, we’re all different, we all train how we like to train, some different than others (there’s not ‘right’ way to train🤷🏽‍♀️) and if someone is doing something to better themselves, their health or taking time out for themselves well that’s what important, and the only thing that’s important.

One of my biggest challenges I faced when I began training was attempting to feel adequate against the other women who in reality probably felt the excact same as me. Along with dealing some man laugh at me struggling through my last few reps of a 25KG military press.🙄🤪 Overtime as I became comfortable, I made an effort to smile and chat with anyone who was new and came through the doors simply because I knew how it once felt.
I think one of the most powerful things about women in fitness, is seeing females uplifting and supporting eachother. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My opinion of women in fitness: absolutely amazing (not just because I’m a woman)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Past experiences and what I’ve learnt.
I suppose my life’s been short-ish, but there’s been a lot of things I’ve learned, at times I’ve been surprised by the outcomes of things and what’s come from them but I’ve learned that there’s something to learn with everything you do.
One thing I’ve learnt is it’s okay not to be the same as everyone else. From very young I tried to fit into a box of what ideal was. I remember wondering why my family rarely sat down to have dinner together, why our house was always messy, why everyone I knew had some sort of pet and I spent all my years (up until I got Muffin) wondering why I never had one. ⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I remember one time aged 8, I was sad because I never had my cast signed like everyone else, you know one for a broken arm? Well I never got it signed because I’d never broken a bone- so one day I moulded some wet tissue around my arm, I let it dry then headed off into school with my ‘broken’ arm the next day. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ive learnt (stereotypically) that every good thing comes to an end🙂 And that’s because everything does. My biggest loss was my dad oh along with my Bratz umbrella I left that in the train station one day (my umbrella not my dad). And although they’ve both left a hole in my heart, I’ve learnt to make the most of things right now rather than dwell on what I could’ve done to stop them happening. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve also learnt that sometimes, the only thing holding us all back is ourselves. You can want to do / day / be anything you want to be, but if you’re spending your time in fear of taking action, just know if you do whatever that thing may be, right now, you’ll spend a lot less time worrying about the outcome.

🌈 🌈🌈🌈 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pls ignore me, I look like an overgrown child but met these amazing two today (my moms), n’ here’s a cute family photo of us all😩🙌🏼 Fab evening with @rhi.msi watching some amazingly inspirational stories before listening to these two do their thing🗣
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Most importantly it was nice to feel comfortable and at ease being surrounded by people just like me! (too bad I only get shite photos when a good one is necessary🤪) ty guys for posing with me 77 times
Oh just to let u all know yes hahahha I’m gay🤪💃🏻

For too long I let that little voice in my head take advantage of me. I let it go so far that I couldn’t differentiate it from my own thoughts.
Until I got noticeably ill due to anorexia, I never received help for my mental health, which is probably down to the fact I didn’t know what to do, who or where to go to, and in all honesty I was ashamed and just questioned my own brain day in and day out about WHY it wasn’t how everyone else’s is.

It’s easy to give advice to people on where they should go to seek help, or what they can do to help themselves .. but for those struggling, intentionally seeking ways to sort their brain back into ‘normality’ is nowhere near easy, but it’s the first step.

I still struggle these days and some days are more exhausting than others, but choosing every day not to give up on things and to begin to work on projects to better myself has been so beneficial in making me feel I’ve a purpose.

The thing is, mental health shouldn’t only be discussed on days like this. Yes it CAN be difficult to to put yourself in such a vulnerable position
But the topic of it all is never going to be something we freely and openly speak about without hesitating or feeling uncomfortable until we all begin to do so.

Just remember, that having an mental illness doesn’t make you weak but the courage and will you have shows your strength, and you can be a lot stronger than you think you really are


Looking v worryingly into the distance because awh lads I swear I’ve lost about 6 months of muscle this past month hahahahaha

So so so disheartening to see hard work fly out the window like that but I’m not sure what I expect if I’ve yet to fit training into my life again😭

V shit and feel the same but I missed actually being in the gym enough never mind noticing visible changes in myself.

I’m doing a PT course because I want to help people like I helped myself, and allow people to learn to love excercise and maximize their body’s strength, but I need to remeber I can’t do that if I neglect myself that way!! Anyways,change has been and still is fun, it’s just a matter of time before things settle back to whatever I consider “normal” to be, I’ll get there soon🤷🏽‍♀️ #HappyMonday

To sum up my life rn.. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Today’s dinner: 2 doughnuts🍩
Gym membership: non existent (sos)
Currently wanting: honestly, only just to get taller. Oh and for someone to clean my room for me🌝 (and to be back away again!!)
Bank account: empty from bus fare and tattoos
Feeling: okay-ish for once in my life :) :)
Biggest achievement this week: not having a single mental breakdown🤪🙌🏼
Excited for: so many things this month; my birthdayyy🎂maybe my secret project release👀 start of my PT course !!
Living off: copious amounts of caffeine, and complaining about things to get through them🤠
Happy? Yes
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Even after I made this account I was still recovering from anorexia. Thank god (most) of you never actually knew of me when I was ill. For someone with anorexia there tends to be 0 insight into what reality once was or if it will ever all be back to normal again. Recovery for me was such a long confusing road, and it all honestly feels like yesterday. When I hear people say recovery isn’t 100% possible, I disagree. I once said I actually won’t ever be okay, I remember thinking about how I’d never want to get pregnant (😂) in case I gained a bit of weight, don’t know why I was afraid of that seen as I hadn’t had a period in years🤪 The biggest frustration in my recovery was finding people to speak to who understood me. I had therapists or whatever but I believe you cannot truly understand unless you’ve been in the position yourself. Before this account I had an account called @ ems.recovery lmao. Basically a community of people recovering from mental illness’ (primarily EDs in my case). I used to post weird shit and purposely scroll in order to feed my eating disorder (toxic community). How did I recover???? Well a few things: I got rid of all the toxic people in my life. Which means everyone who just didn’t give a fuck or who had given up on me. I avoided triggers. I figured out WHAT and WHO triggered behaviors of mine and avoided them also, even if it wasn’t intentional. I realized that I had the rest of my life ahead of me.... i was ill between the ages of 14-17, I thought I knew EVERYTHING and I thought I had everything under control, when realistically my bone density was gone to shit, I was losing hair, was period-less and my revolved around FOOD. And looking back I wonder,what life? I didn’t get to experience anything my friends did. I missed out on so much. I was a caffeine dependent life form lmao, who only ate what @littleguineamuffin eats😂😂😂😂 Anyways.. why am I still banging on about the time I had anorexia?????🤔 Well because when I was ill I never seen anyone recovered who posted what I needed & had nobody there to relate or understand me when I needed it. I’m still goin on about just in case someone needs it like I once did🖤

Throwback to Amsterdam🍁 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Madddd week its been! I’ve either been on the go or asleep😂 I’ve genuinely not had a minute to just sit and relax. I’ve just moved house last week and I’m setting off again tonight and movin’ back to Dublin (bout TIME), maybe 3rd time lucky?🤪🏡 I’ve also injured my foot bc I’m too tiny to see over the cabinets in work lol rip, but if I’ve moved house twice in 2 weeks with 1 foot- I must be a pro🤔 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So today I trained for the first time in 2 weeks!!! Lmao crazy🌝 was fun but not feelin’ like it used to, because I haven’t the slightest bit of routine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Am joining a new gym (obvs because I’m moving) but I feel it’ll give me a chance to start completely fresh and just go for things🏋🏽‍♀️ So as you can tell it’s been hectic hectic hectic, and that’s why I’ve been so mute on here🌚 but not to worry @sorcha.dunnex (ive robbed a room in her house hehe) it’s your turn to be photographer- you better be ready🧐

Happy Monday all💛❤️

👋🏽👋🏽 Don’t even know what to be chatting to you all about anymore?¿ what would yous like from me? Mental health stuff?🤷🏽‍♀️ Me just writing whatever spills out of my mind? Me moaning about how long it’s been since I’ve last been to the gym ¿¿¿ Anyways I’ve had two days off, and managed to spend both of them carrying around big black bags (under my eyes) cleaning, and have even had time to catch a cold!🤪🎉 yay
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As hectic and tiring as things have been I’m glad I chose not to head to uni this year. Instead I get to experience the opening of Ireland first Krispy Kreme tomorrow (and let’s just hope I don’t run off crying again xo). My anxiety is the worst it’s ever been which is shit but I’ve not got a minute to spare to myself so I don’t expect it just just leave. Self care is important and I’ve been taking care of myself by spending too much money and eating too many doughnuts🍩
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Also moving house again soon for the third time this year, (and maybe third time lucky?), but hopefully it’ll be for the best!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I would’ve uploaded at cute bikini pic of me, but I didn’t get into a bikini while I was away🙂 so instead here’s me looking at the pizza restaurant on the pier 🏖
Happy Wednesday, don’t be like me

Back with a pic of me and the @billyraycyrus hair 🧐 Been quiet on here and am sorry bout it but I’ve parted ways with my trusty photographer @saoirse_baxter and don’t have a big mirror for me to do things myself 🤷🏽‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In the past week, I’ve moved house, started my job, had to commute 2 hours every day lol so tryna find myself a new place for me myself and I (with my zero cash, and lack of life skills), not sure what I actually learnt in school?¿ But in the past week I’ve learnt life is stressful and when you wanna do something you need to do about 729 other things to make that happen oh and that I should probably learn how to drive x
On the bright side🌞 I’m eating a bit better than I was- kinda. I’ve actually incorporated fish back into my diet because after a long time of thinking about it all, and weighing up pros and cons, having 1 source of protein like that is going to help me. I don’t wanna explain it all 1/2 bc I cba 1/2 because I don’t want to but I will continue to opt for veggie substitutes / plant based options / milks etc. when available and that way, I’m still consciouslymaking an effort to reduce my consumption of animal products x
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Anyways here’s a throwback to an amazing week with the Gymshark crew. I told you things are coming, and they are, just hold on a lil’ while longer (I CANNOT wait to share😿💙) Hope you’re all having a good weekend🙌🏼💗

Missing the sunshine😢🌞 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Have had a busy day today! Had my first day of training for work which was kinda fun and ate and brought some doughnuts while I was at it #perks 🤩🍩 Anyways gonna get back to the gym tomorrow after too long off/ just being inconsistent. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I WILL make an effort to get up early in the mornin to train. (All the morning sessions I’ve ever had have always been my best so o don’t know why I’m only starting now!) Also starting with a new coach!!!!! Exciting, but need to try and start to remember things won’t happen if I never try.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sunnies in the pic are from @mvmt 😎 and although I canny see a thing without my prescription in them, they’re fabulous, but you can get your prescription put in if you’d like lol. My discount code emgains15 for dolla off. (I don’t actually gain anything btw) #jointhemvmt

One of the most stressful things to try to recover from and one of the easiest things to try to hide is being “anorexic but living a normal life”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I spent so long doing this. My “worst” stages mentally were spent trying to maintain life as an anorexic. It may seem baffling to some, but being a way that allowed me to be thin in a way that meant I survived was what appealed to me so much.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I lived a life of restriction where I thought I looked like the “average” person in a way that allowed me to also live “normally”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Believe it or not, I thought I was fat in the first picture. Back then on my school trip to Berlin, I was on a mission to lose or at least maintain the weight I was while I was there.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I had no period, I wasn’t healthiest in the slightest but because I wasn’t as small as I once was at my smallest- I was let away with it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Being 100% truthfully honest, I don’t feel 100% happy in my body. I may look so much better but at times I feel huge, to the point where I jut want to constantly hide myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But when I sit down and take time to reflect on it all, I know I’m healthier in myself, regardless of my size, I’m stronger, I enjoy life unlike once before, and I look forward to things rather than dread occasions in case they involve food. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
An eating disorder is complex. It revolves around so much more than just avoiding food and restricting it. I often feel as if it’s just impossible to explain unless you’ve been in the same position yourself.
Believe it or not in the first picture I look tiny but I’m 10KG above my lowest weight- yet had the most toxic mindset I ever had. Anorexia isn’t an illness soley focused on weight as the media to often seem to perceive it all as. Oh and it’s possible to recover from, dont u be worrying x

Most Popular Instagram Hashtags