52 today 🎈
Happy birthday to my guardian angel.
They say your in a better place and all I do is hope and pray it's fucking true.
I feel as though my soul has finally realised your gone - I'm not in denial anymore. It's real... and it's leaving me in a cage of pain that I can't escape no matter what mind space I try and set myself in.
But I don't bother about my suffering, because it's set you free to a world of no pain .
The grief doesn't leave you like people think it does , you have to take it everywhere with you and no matter how your day is going, where you are, what your doing - it's always there. Some days heavier then others.
You were a fucking pillar of strength right until your last breath and I'll carry that strength with me until I die.... I feel as though I'm walking in an unknown path and that I'm afraid of life without having you to guide me and it freaks me the fuck out.
How I've continued to live 11 months without you makes me feel sick... but what's worse is the fact I'm meant to do this for the rest of my life without you??
But today I'm going to thank my lucky stars that we had the relationship we did.
I love you so much Mum, rest in peace. X 🌸 @daviessue 🌸