I've had many questions recently regarding university. Should I go with an eating disorder? Should I take a gap year?..... the ultimate answer is that it is your own decision, and no one can make it for you, but maybe it's best if I tell you all how my journey goes 🤔
I started at Oxford University in October 2015, weight restored from my first Ip admission for around 18 months. Unfortunately, despite being physically recovered, my mind set remained unchanged and anorexia was still ruling my life. Therefore, the moment I was away from the watchful eyes of my parents who had kept me safe for so long, the tell tale traits, habits and behaviours snuck in. It was simple at uni, no one knew my history, no one knew I had anorexia, so no one really noticed or cared as my weight plummeted and I hid myself away. All in all, things got horrendously bad and I was admitted without choice, to my second Ip unit before first year was up. I still didn't want to get better, restore my weight or get rid of anorexia, so, quite honestly, I just didn't! I fought the system, cheated, lied and for that I am ashamed. I wanted to start my second year at uni so badly, that I discharged myself against medical advice. Stupid!!
As everyone had told me, when term started, it all went pear shaped again. It was only the threat of a third admission that forced me to make small changes, and from there, as my mindset transformed from anti-recovery to PRO-recovery, bigger changes, HUGE ones. I'm now doing this recovery thing for real and I couldn't be happier that I'm doing it 100% for myself, by myself! No services, no nagging parents, just me. Recovery isn't simple at uni, it's TOTALLY up to YOU! There won't be people there to pick up the pieces or monitor your weight, intake and exercise. If you're determined enough, like I am, you CAN DO IT, but anorexia is a lot more sneaky and deceptive than even I realised, and it's gonna be TOUGH!
I'm a fighter, I've made it this far, and when I start back this October in gorgeous Oxford, anorexia is not returning with me! Fun, food, booze, friends... (oh and lectures 😂)... I am ready to take you on 💪