ellenmarker ellenmarker

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Ellen  🌱24 📍Recovering 2nd Surgery🇩🇪 ♿️Vascular Disease & Paraplegic 🌍I'll get💪🏼&👣again "When the very worst can happen, the very best may happen also"

Mon thru Sun - one word: rough.
I've had a struggle with my body having to go back to the chiropractors, needing adjustments more regularly than I thought. Joints seem to either tighten or fall back to where they were which is the reason for my nervesystem acting up. It makes me very tired but also unable to sleep much. With it also comes migranes, worst nausea I've felt, nerve pain and cramps. Nothing very pleasant here at the moment,body wise! On the other hand, my week have also been filled with lovely people. Getting back in touch with old friends & meeting new ones. I can't really tell you how I've even got half of the things done as I've drifted in and out of a state of exhausting pain and excitement. What weird feelings those two combined, making everything seem like a weird hazy dream. We have a few assumptions as to why I get so very ill and most of it has to do with the vascular compressions. When trying to straighten up my spine, after surgery, it seems to touch and move nerves along the places I've been operated.Naturally causing different organs to be affected too. A very complex matter but also understandable. It takes time to put this body straigth obviously...Time I rather want to spend doing fun, but ah well, life! Hopefully a lesson is burried under this hardship too.Trying to keep my eyes on my goal here and remembering that I'm still on an important path.I will trust it to lead me in the direction I am ment for.No matter the pain, tiredness, no matter how I feel: I keep this inner peace and drive that tells me "just hold on for a little longer, you will get to live in grand tranquility, when your time is right!" & I can't help thinking pain keeps happening because it is still teaching me something I will desperately need to know. So I can enjoy the grace I am deserving of without having to be apologetic about it. I am still learning through pain, every single day. In hard,dark,humoristic,humbling,regretful ways -but most of all it teaches me to trust the comfort that lies resting inside me,to know there is no shame living a rich life abundant in happiness. I need to hold on to that. That there's a chance I might be painfree someday.

Yesterday was a fine day.
A friend whom I have not seen in years came to visit. There lies a invigorating quality over real friends. You can spend an inestimable time appart silent and meet again and talk like you never left eachothers side.
One great conversation followed by the next, the hours flew by. We talked and laughed and planned our lives from late noon to midnight. It was great. I had such a enjoyable time.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for thinking of me. For not being here because of obligation or favour of sympathy but because of geniuinely wanting to. Feeling comfortable in my company.
There's a amenity in knowing you knew me before all this because it's even harder for you to think of me in a wheelchair - which also makes me forget. The way we talk, as if I could still walk. The way we talk about getting through this with rehabilitation and practice and hard work. We make it sound exciting. Despite never needing anyone to make me feel excited about my own journey it feels damn good to have someone else also share your excitement and being on the same page. You have your own goals and visions of life. I have mine. Yet they intertwine in such similar ways.
We're far apart in body, closer in mind and the same at heart; in the loving vunerable way it desires the drive to reach the goals.
I hope our plans bear fruit. It would be so much fun to have you join me this year and the time to come. After all I could make use of a strong man from time to time. Not saying I'm not strong on my own, but you know, for the days I feel too lazy to deal with the chair or drag myself across the floor to get the remote ♿️🕹🚼💪🏼😉

At least I'm sitting up straight today ey 🙃 Despite the lingering nausea and dizziness, it is going to be a good day, I decided 🌤
Wishing you all lovely day 💛
#itwillalwaysbetimetorestmoreafterwards#sitnowrestlater#decisionsdecisions#aintnobodygottimeforthat#takeavitaminandmoveon

Update - Part 4
(Sunday 230417)
I wanted to give you a little update about my life in this moment right here. Again, and almost always unavoidable in my case, a few sympathic nerves were hit during my last chiropractor session, causing my whole body to act up in strange and painful ways. I will be better soon, of that I'm sure...it's just one of those days (my fellow nutcrackers /smas warriors can relate more than anyone else so you in particular know what I'm talking about. It can be difficult to make others understand sometimes, but try nevertheless, to show how your life really is and maybe people can find answers to why certain things are the way they are) when everything hurts and you need rest but can't sleep either because of the pain. Thankfully I have wonderful people around me now that knows what to do and how to help me cope and get through with much more ease.
#unapologeticallyhappy#painfuldays#nutcrackersyndrome#superiormesentericarterysyndrome#maythurnersyndrome#dunbarsyndrome#wilkiessyndrome#pelviccongestionsyndrome#vasculardisease#paraplegia

Update - Part 3 (Sunday 230417)
I wanted to give you a little update about my life in this moment right here. Again, and almost always unavoidable in my case, a few sympathic nerves were hit during my last chiropractor session, causing my whole body to act up in strange and painful ways. I will be better soon, of that I'm sure...it's just one of those days (my fellow nutcrackers /smas warriors can relate more than anyone else so you in particular know what I'm talking about. It can be difficult to make others understand sometimes, but try nevertheless, to show how your life really is and maybe people can find answers to why certain things are the way they are) when everything hurts and you need rest but can't sleep either because of the pain. Thankfully I have wonderful people around me now that knows what to do and how to help me cope and get through with much more ease.
#unapologeticallyhappy#painfuldays#nutcrackersyndrome#superiormesentericarterysyndrome#maythurnersyndrome#dunbarsyndrome#wilkiessyndrome#pelviccongestionsyndrome#vasculardisease#paraplegia

Update - Part 2 (Sunday 230417)
I wanted to give you a little update about my life in this moment right here. Again, and almost always unavoidable in my case, a few sympathic nerves were hit during my last chiropractor session, causing my whole body to act up in strange and painful ways. I will be better soon, of that I'm sure...it's just one of those days (my fellow nutcrackers /smas warriors can relate more than anyone else so you in particular know what I'm talking about. It can be difficult to make others understand sometimes, but try nevertheless, to show how your life really is and maybe people can find answers to why certain things are the way they are) when everything hurts and you need rest but can't sleep either because of the pain. Thankfully I have wonderful people around me now that knows what to do and how to help me cope and get through with much more ease.
#unapologeticallyhappy#painfuldays#nutcrackersyndrome#superiormesentericarterysyndrome#maythurnersyndrome#dunbarsyndrome#wilkiessyndrome#pelviccongestionsyndrome#vasculardisease#paraplegia

Update - Part 1 (Sunday 230417)
I wanted to give you a little update about my life in this moment right here. Again, and almost always unavoidable in my case, a few sympathic nerves were hit during my last chiropractor session, causing my whole body to act up in strange and painful ways. I will be better soon, of that I'm sure...it's just one of those days (my fellow nutcrackers /smas warriors can relate more than anyone else so you in particular know what I'm talking about. It can be difficult to make others understand sometimes, but try nevertheless, to show how your life really is and maybe people can find answers to why certain things are the way they are) when everything hurts and you need rest but can't sleep either because of the pain. Thankfully I have wonderful people around me now that knows what to do and how to help me cope and get through with much more ease.
#unapologeticallyhappy#painfuldays#nutcrackersyndrome#superiormesentericarterysyndrome#maythurnersyndrome#dunbarsyndrome#wilkiessyndrome#pelviccongestionsyndrome#vasculardisease#paraplegia

How lucky am I 🙏🏼 to have nicecream fruit & müsli bowl with rays of sun ⛅️🍨🍓🍌 Yesterday was a busy day and it gave me some trouble with my neck, which made me quite upset. I want to get on but..pain is pain, and it wears on the body in strange ways. The weakest link is most exposed, which is my immunesystem leading way nicely along to the left kidney, stomach, pancreas, liver and spleen and pelvic area. When in pain and feeling weaker these automatically filter poorly and my body gives me a hard time altogether. Coping by resting and gentle nourishment is the best way. Smoothies packed with easy digestables and tasty healthy ingredients are lifesaving.
Organic cranberry juice helps my kidneys relax and filter better.
When immunesystem feels weak my saviours are dragon fruit, oranges, berries, kiwi (& grapes, but not too many as it has a very strong effect on my spleen)
For energy my go to is always bananas. Sliced, but mostly as #bananamylk , Datorade (dates, coconut sugar and water) a blueberry + banana or mango + banana smoothie, plain banana + water or nicecream 🍦 is the way of getting 10+ bananas in without straining the stomach.
Being upset about something, the best way is to fill your life with what cheers you up, so that's what I'll be doing today. Just wanting to feel radiant is the first step out of misery.
#radiant#unapologeticallyhappy#cheerup#painispain#vasculardisease#tired#energyboost#nicecream#fruitbowl#organic#natural#healing#fruit#müsli#puffedquinoa#strawberry#banana#applebanana#dragonfruit#pitahaya#papaya#mango#grateful

.
Påske - Easter - Pascha - Páscoa.
My absolute favourite time of year.
When the sun comes out to stay for longer brighter hours during the day. Warming us up from the outside in. We poke our nose to the sky and let out eyelids sunbathe.
Spring time, with its longingly delicate colours appearing between brown and grey cracks in the ground. The green straws of shy grass, yellow of the coltsfoot, blue of the bluebells, purple of the saxifrage and most innocent of all; the white anemones - my favourite of wildflowers. I also adore daffodils, and tulips ever since I was a kid. Its velvet petals reminding me of fruit shaped and coloured marzipan which I only got on the ferry to Denmark during the holidays. I could go on, but I think I will save that story for later ☺️
Ah the spring colours...It is a sight to snowblinded eyes (and makes me go off on a tangent down memory lane). For months of cold and dark the time of easter is truly relieving to be.
What it represents in the way of Christianity. The sacrifice in suffering to the ressurection. From death and end to rising, into newness. It is a wistful time, this Pascha...to me at least.
A time I tend to seek deep into myself, underneath all that I am in this life now, under all which is or have every caused me pain, to know that I can rise from it with my will and ability to gain knowledge, wisdom through humbling experiences, encountered beings and by seeking out anything that pique my interest.
To perceive value within oneself of wanting to find grace in the world. To be eager to find what serves good.
I wish for you this Easter to have sought pursuit within you, challenging you to grow, expand your limits to reach a point where you can float on gratefulness, to let go of anger, the lump of sadness that might hold you back. Let that distress be over and rise from your old pain tainted self, becoming your own guiding light into your very own contentment.
Let spring renew you, inspire you to look forward to your life 💛🐣
#påske#easter#pascha#páscoa #ressurection#spring

If you need me, I'll be having my siesta (after all it is the warmest time of this day right now [5ºC] 😅and tomorrow it's supposed to snøw 🌨😬) ...or rather just have no choice but to lie in a horizontally position for the rest of the day, right.here.
Thankful to have a sis that will set up a whole day of series and movies so that I can still have a good time when not being able to get much out of the day on my own 🛌💁🏻📺
#brokenribs#flu#vasculardisease#quadriplegic#restday#sundayfunday#stillgrateful#mysis#thebest

Jeg ønsker alle en hjertevarm og fredelig påskeaften 🐣🍷💐 I am blessed to have a mother who keeps tradition strong, still taking on the role of the easter bunny bearing gifts of filled eggs. 🐰🥚💛☺️ Every year she fills them up with our favourite treats. No less this year, overflowing with with an abundance of sweets straight from nature - my egg was filled with everything you need and nothing you don't 😍🍍🍌🍓 I wish you all a peaceful, healthy and happy easter holiday ✌🏼🐣🍷🌟 #påske#påskeaften#eastereve#abundance#grateful#easteregg#naturescandy#organic#fruit#thankyou#unapologeticallyhappy

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