• I'm a mom. I'm tired 24 hours out of the 24 hour day. I have bags under my eyes. I'm "touched" out by the time nine at night rolls around. I kiss boo boos and I cry at any given moment when my child makes me proud. Being a mom is not for the weak. You moms that have more than one kid, props. Props so hard to y'all, because one kid is hard enough. You're always worried if you're doing the right thing. You're never sure really what you're doing, you just do it and hope for the best.
I wasn't ready to be a mom. I pictured myself with a degree, married, and a career all before I became a mom, but that didn't happen. I went head first into this thing with no idea what to do besides try my hardest to be the best version of myself for my Oliver.
The best part of this journey? Cultivating good into the world. Oliver is a blank slate, he is the product of what he sees and hears. I get the chance to help him be the good in the world. I get the chance to model kindness and respect and have him reciprocate it. Each day before he goes into school I tell him, "Be good and be kind." Each day he gets out of school I ask, "Were you good? Were you kind? Can you tell me how?". When he gets a "bad note" home from school, we discuss it, we figure out how to be better. Sure, my kid can grow up to be an athlete or a genius, but what good is that without kindness and goodness? Wherever life leads my boy, I want him to be kind and be good. He knows life isn't always rainbows and unicorns, but if I can keep his eyes on the positive, the good, the improvement, then I believe I've done my job.
In this world, mothering is hard. Dare y'all to say "She's just a stay at home mom, it can't be that bad" once more. We are doing our best to raise boys and girls that defy hate and foster love, and believe me, in this day and age, it is not easy.
So yes, I have bags under my eyes, I don't do normal "twenty something" things because I'm kissing boo boos or in bed by 11 p.m (probably the latter). I'm tired. I'm worn out. But each day I tell myself, you have a chance to help change the world and love a little boy who loves you back a million times. •