elijah.huh elijah.huh

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Elijah  we'll never be as young as we are now🛤

wretched flaws

местные красоты 🌆


“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

There are days when you feel good for no reason whatsoever. You're radiant with happiness and the world seems a wonderful place to live in. But there's usually more to it, since you end up suspicious of the high spirits that have so suddenly taken over. In the end, you know a storm's coming. And then it strikes. And no more fun for a while. And you're sad. And it kinda sucks. And it will get back to normal but just not at that instant. Such a fascinating but cruel play of the human brain. Or is it just me?


where chocolate is ripening among the flora's numerous greens 🍫

- Everybody's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.

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