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Heidi Dykstra  👑Nat. Qualified NPC Figure Competitor 💥Head Trainer @ Tailored Fitness 💪Personal Trainer @ CaliFitness 🍷Lover of good food, better wine & pretty nails

http://gotailoredfitness.com/

Long post alert: Alright, here we go. Last night I had some tears fall during meditation. See, I haven't been myself since I had Chase (almost 2 years ago) and sometimes my physical ailments get to my head.
Since having Chase I have been sick or injured almost constantly. I had my c section to have my beautiful little boy, then I had an internal infection at the site, I then had some major issues with the birth control I was put on, I had some thyroid issues that lasted for approx the first year, I was put on an IUD because of my birth control problems, because of issues with my c section scar, the placement of that IUD caused a significant injury which took longer than my c section did to heal, since then I've had some crazy ailments and pains all of which were confirmed yesterday that I was not actually losing my mind and the physical pain was real, my c section scar has an abnormality which is causing a lot of this.
So, yesterday, I felt tired and frustrated and all the things and I cried. AND THATS OKAY. I'm not telling you all this so you feel bad but I'm showing you that I'm human, I feel discouraged and angry and irritated and disheartened sometimes too. People ask me on a pretty regular basis "how can you be so positive 100% of the time", the truth is I'm not, I try to look at the bright side of things as much as I can, again, I'm human.
I've learned from my coach and I've grown to better deal with these bad feelings when they arise. And I don't sit in the bad feeling longer than necessary, but I feel it now, fully, I don't push it down and hope it goes away, I FEEL it. It took A LOT of work for me to feel again. And last night I felt it during meditation, I shed some tears and then, although physically I still felt a little bad, I had a great class and left feeling really happy about what I was able to accomplish and I was feeling more encouraged.
It may take a while to get back to feeling really good physically again, but I'm learning how to take care of myself mentally until then 💕. If there's nothing you're unwilling to feel, there's nothing you're unwilling to do. OH AND HERE ARE SOME POLE SPLITS LOL.

When you're outnumbered 23-3 on the guy-girl ratio at the gym so you've gotta flex on em a bit and show em what a proper back day looks like... #ExcuseMeTryingToGrowSomeWingsUpInHere #StareAtMyButtOneMoreTimeIDareYou 😂

Reason #1 why today was the best gym day 💕

Grace teaching Chase how to play in the sprinklers last night lol

Dear hamstrings, please grow. With all my love, Heidi

Because you can come back better postpartum. Don't let anyone tell you differently. #MomBod #IHadChaseInBetweenThese #20MonthsPostpartum

My beautiful, funny, sassy, smart, strong, courageous, badass, loving, blessing of a little cousin/bff/lifting partner IS ENGAGED!!! I couldn't be happier for you @jorreash and @captainkrohn !!!! Omgoshhhh!!! Let the wedding planning begin! Gahhhhhhhhh IM. SO. EXCITED. Congrats you two 💕

“You’ve got to block out all distractions when you train. Your focus has to be 100% into the rep. You’ve got to get into a zone. You know you’re in the zone when guys in the gym look you in the eye and then quickly turn away ’cause they see the fire. You’ve got to be all business."

He's my favorite 💙 (oh and @melanieshipps thanks for mailing baby back to us, he was distraught that we left it 😂🙈) #MiniMe

And most people won't get it. That's okay, it's not for them. Do what's for you. No. Matter. What.

Real life

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