Long post alert: Alright, here we go. Last night I had some tears fall during meditation. See, I haven't been myself since I had Chase (almost 2 years ago) and sometimes my physical ailments get to my head.
Since having Chase I have been sick or injured almost constantly. I had my c section to have my beautiful little boy, then I had an internal infection at the site, I then had some major issues with the birth control I was put on, I had some thyroid issues that lasted for approx the first year, I was put on an IUD because of my birth control problems, because of issues with my c section scar, the placement of that IUD caused a significant injury which took longer than my c section did to heal, since then I've had some crazy ailments and pains all of which were confirmed yesterday that I was not actually losing my mind and the physical pain was real, my c section scar has an abnormality which is causing a lot of this.
So, yesterday, I felt tired and frustrated and all the things and I cried. AND THATS OKAY. I'm not telling you all this so you feel bad but I'm showing you that I'm human, I feel discouraged and angry and irritated and disheartened sometimes too. People ask me on a pretty regular basis "how can you be so positive 100% of the time", the truth is I'm not, I try to look at the bright side of things as much as I can, again, I'm human.
I've learned from my coach and I've grown to better deal with these bad feelings when they arise. And I don't sit in the bad feeling longer than necessary, but I feel it now, fully, I don't push it down and hope it goes away, I FEEL it. It took A LOT of work for me to feel again. And last night I felt it during meditation, I shed some tears and then, although physically I still felt a little bad, I had a great class and left feeling really happy about what I was able to accomplish and I was feeling more encouraged.
It may take a while to get back to feeling really good physically again, but I'm learning how to take care of myself mentally until then 💕. If there's nothing you're unwilling to feel, there's nothing you're unwilling to do. OH AND HERE ARE SOME POLE SPLITS LOL.