I found rain dove on my Facebook feed, sometime last year.
I stopped scrolling to look at someone attractive. I didn't know why I was so intrigued; but then I realised it was because I couldn't figure out if they were a boy, or a girl. My brain was trying to quickly log down the info; and their face kept flipping from one possibility to the other and it made me frustrated.
Until I realised; what the hell does it matter?
Society has restricted my viewpoint into restricting others into two sections. (Which will never turn out well in humanity, because humans simply aren't like that).
I saw rain dove appear on various feeds over the year (I recommend their StyleLikeU interview) and I am so grateful for their pleasant reminder to step outside of binaries, and to take a look at structure and question it, rather than conforming to it.
Anyway. We followed each other on Instagram, promised lunches in various cities at various times; and met today!
I danced my way to the table, and we gushed about mental health, rules, self care; skipping surface level chatter to reach straight into each other's minds.
"I think something that has been so helpful for me to learn, is to be honest with myself. For example!" - they turned around in their chair - "I can feel when someone's feeling anxious." They raised an eyebrow to someone behind them, a woman in a green jumper who was scratching the back of her neck. "Or when..." - they looked to our side "... a couple have run out of things to say in a relationship. I gotta be honest with myself that I can feel those things, and that it doesn't feel good. But I also gotta be honest that - this," they prodded at their brunch - "is a great scone. And that bunny," (a toy on the back of a pram) "is adorable. And when you find those things that are honestly great, maybe you should, you know, take a picture of it or something."
I grin. And I end up taking a picture of the pool of jam on my plate that I had been dipping my finger into and sucking on. Because I gotta be honest with myself; the whole situation was wonderful.