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doddleoddle doddleoddle

1134 posts   845760 followers   711 followings

dodie  I make music! I also feel a lot! My theme isn't great I don't know how to make it great. josh@dodie.co for business ✨

http://secretsforthemadbook.com/

lil hat

Yo I haven’t been depressed since November! An odd dark half day here and there, but here’s a pretty optimistic chick.
Plz read all my posts since then and onwards in a humbly bumbly happy tone thank u very much. That might clear up some confusion if u think I’m still 2017 Dark Headed Oversharing terrible-at-knowing-boundaries-with-an-audience dodie. RIP her. Thank god.

missing this life and these people a bit

Because when you’re surrounded by pictures and pictures of people in love, it’s so easy to log it all as evidence that you’re not.
You don’t need to find someone to prove it to you. In time you will realise you have always been. And always will be loveable.

I wish I could see my brain like a bullet journal
All organised, processed feelings ticked off
Flip to the subconscious page
discover how the heck I’m feeling

anyway lol not relevant but I just saw #theshapeofwater ! It was so strange and beautiful I loved it!!!

Meet fangirl dodie, from six years ago today! Here’s a girl who met her favourite youtubers and desperately tried to say something funny, be extra, confident; aching to stand out from the crowd and get the most attention she could from faces so painfully familiar to her.
Over the next year she’d begin to learn that youtubers were not characters in a show; that when they said “there’s a lot I don’t share and I’m not like this in real life”... they meant it, and also the best way to be liked by a stranger and to leave a good impression is to be respectful, honest, and entirely yourself.

I remember the pain of being a fangirl very well, and recently I realised it’s very similar to the pain I felt in school. The feeling of being shut out and unheard. Not receiving love or attention from the people I thought were important. The aching went away when I realised I was being heard all along, and that I didn’t need to seek love or attention from the “popular people”; I had it from my friends around me. And my fangirl ache stopped when I applied that to my “idols”, too.
Being a fangirl in my teens was a lot of reaching, and it was exhausting. I’m so glad I learned to look around me, instead of so far away.

new vid! I sang a little song I wrote in 2015! Go have a watch! :D
It’s a little example of an entry for @shure’s contest “off the beaten track”
more deets in the vid but basically - submit an original song filmed in an interesting location and you could be flown out to LA to get it recorded professionally! Coo!
#ad #MadeWithMotiv 🖤🖤🖤

HAPPY BDAY @TASHHUGS!!! And happy hello @loiscamp!!
School friends that aren’t just school friends 🖤🖤

A Lot Of Makeup After Stress Cry

Stress Cry Not Sad Cry

🖤
about to watch #blackpanther !

👀

I take my entire last post back it’s 2am and I’m just crying about death lol wbu

when I can’t sleep, I have three go-to fantasies;
The first is if I am panicking. I imagine two hands slipping into my skull, like a shadow through the skin and bone. The cool palms cup my brain and cradle my thoughts. It helps me to realise that all of my thoughts, my worries, my memories, trauma; it all lives in this squishy home, no bigger than half a loaf of bread.
The second is if I am bored. I imagine taking a friend by the hand to the middle of a forest. Telling them I have kept a secret from them, and that I will show them if they promise not to tell. Watching their eyes widen and their mouth open as I float up to the leaves, grinning down at my feet, hanging in the air.
The last isn’t too healthy. I delve into my guilty pleasure - the one that damages me. I’ll tell my therapist about it when I see her next week. But I like to line up in the school canteen. I shuffle forward in my black shoes, thinking about the science practical. I get to the front and take a tray, a handful of cutlery and an orange carton from the fridge. I ask for pasta and beans. I pay at the counter, pick up my tray and walk towards a handful of friends I spot in the hall.

Thinking about school doesn’t help me sleep because it is logical, or exciting. I guess it helps because it’s familiar. (U lot at school are going to be like wtf lamo school is horrid - but it’s a comfortable place for me. I’m stuck in the past! It’s a problem!)

lol

let’s see
what’s grandma thinking about recently?

well. My mood is so strangely up. I can feel creativity blooming. I am so optimistic and I love it love love love it.
Social media feels like it’s shouting at me recently and I don’t like it. And yet I’ll sit scrolling, reading the words that scream.
My dreams are weird. I love my friends. I love my healthy principles. I don’t love the unhealthy habits.
I don’t like dramatic fullstops. They make me look a little tryhard, if you know what I mean

two old presents. I don’t know the artist! I can’t find any credit - but it was bought at Mayfields Farm Bakery in Harlow lol
if you look closely you can also see some crumbs and a dork

hi @georginarepo_art you are talented

bought a scanner
life is different now

🖤🖤

loved doing a shoot with @shoshanason !! Shot by @axlsouetre

goodbye friends in LA and friend of mine LA
I will miss the life I lived here for a while
But the lady sitting next to me just chuckled about the “large amount of faff that comes with boarding a plane” and I told her I haven’t heard the word faff for a month and
I think I’m happy about going home. I think. Maybe a little.

a concept - instead of hanging on to old clothes that don’t fit you and promising yourself to fit into them again
invest in new, comfier clothes to fit ur new booty and style

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