(TW depression. But also a helpful tip!)
Here's something I learned in therapy today, after blubbering my way through 3/4s of it. I finished my wet, dramatic sentence with a sniff at the end, like the cherry on top of a cake.
My therapist looked at me, still. She let the silence become loud, for just enough time. Then she took a breath, paused - and noted;
"You tend to think in extremes, don't you? It's either black or white. Terrible or wonderful."
I blinked. My first reaction to being accused of something is resentment, anger - a disagreement flashed in my head. Until I realised that all of my intoxicated letters to myself are either extremely hopeful, or catastrophic - phone notes and diary entries of polarised outlooks of life. Everything is terrible, it must end. Life is fucking gorgeous, it's all fun.
"But when I'm depressed I can't see something as okay. I'm just kidding myself - gaining happiness from a cup of tea is a pathetic reason to carry on." "Allow yourself the joy. Say your mood is a scale, and you are feeling... a two. You have a cup of tea, look out the window, and for at least a minute, you move up to a four. Don't write off your day as bad - add in some grey."