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doddleoddle doddleoddle

924 posts   601038 followers   584 followings

dodie  I make music! I also feel a lot! My theme isn't great I don't know how to make it great. info@dodieclark.com for business ✨

https://youtu.be/0JtISvgf2Aw

Imma let u in on a secret.
Girl power is a heck of a strong thing. There is a love, a kindness, an empathy that grows in you with the experiences you get as a woman, and it's like a wink or a handshake between us all; we just get it. Empathy is just unshakable, because it is truth and understanding and compassion. We will boost each other up and treat difficult situations by listening to combat how much we're put down and not heard.
I can't believe I'm writing this post to an unrelated boomerang of me and my pals with fidget spinners on our knees lmao. BUT. It's something I've been thinking of recently.

fed up of posting about how numb and depressed I feel so here's a pic of me looking banging lol

there are so many fucking fidget spinners at this fucking convention lmao

my two posts have disappeared and I don't know why! D; they still show up when I view my profile and they aren't in my archived but you can't see them. Boo :(
Edit : photostop inspired by @simply_kenna

:) this is something that makes me happy to look at
I have wonderful friends <3

I am really really struggling in this moment
LA summer days usually start with grey clouds and it's impossible to imagine that they will clear later to reveal saturated blue and golden sunshine, because you wake up and you look outside and it is darker and colder and you bring a cardigan because you assume you will be cold the whole day.
I have woken up depressed.
And I should know it's the meds. I should know it's temporary. I should know I haven't eaten or slept well and I have depression and I am anxious and spaced out and this just happens sometimes and I will feel better later.
But I am so consumed by feeling so terrible it all feels like the sun will never come out

Josh has brought me a muffin and a green tea, Shannon has messaged me the most helpful wonderful things and and I am trying not to cry before a soundcheck.
Hurry up sun plz (Thank you @kailiyoshida - I would like to learn how to fold origami dragons in these times!) <3

I have ruined my theme but this is too cute to not post

I'M OFF TO LA LA LAND
my goodness. I am a mental mess. My antidepressants are confusing the chemicals in my head as I've just started them and now I am SO ANXIOUS. I haven't slept much and I feel *quite* sick. My thoughts are dark scribbles and my heart is flopping about. Ew. Yuck.
But someone told me that anxiety can be thought of the same as excitement and (although it really doesn't feel that way) I'm really trying my best to turn it into that.

See you soon!

my foot is off the ground because I put my phone on timer and didn't realise there were ppl walking towards me lol

BEAUTIFUL artwork by @oona_who whom I follow and adore!
I started antidepressants today! And I leave for LA in 3 days. I am excited and terrified about both of those things!

"Oh, I don't know whether to say it, because it will make you cry again."
"No," I lie, my sinuses thickly lined and my eyes already filling up. "I'm all cried out for today."
Alice has called me because boys are stupid and she was hurting. She's in an empty hotel room in Essex and I'm in my London flat, and we've been through the fuckboy pep talk, the jam packed catchup, the blubbering reminiscing and now we're talking about my book. I've sent her over some sneak peeks and it's all very ironic, because I write a bit about the pain I went through in the changes of best-friendhood and how it was difficult to share for a long period of time; and yet here we are, talking as bluntly and openly as we would in my old bedroom on my pink carpet. Out of all of my friends, for some reason, she is the most excited. I thought it would have been because I write about my past so much and that's the me she knows best; but there is another reason.
"Well… I guess it's so I can catch up on the bits I missed. I knew you then and I know you now and they are two entirely different people. I know about your pain and everything you've been through; but it will be so interesting to fill in the blanks that led to you now."
We both have a deep ache to revisit 2014 and shake ourselves; why are you messing up something so special?! Why couldn't you have gone on this journey together, like you were supposed to?
But the universe works in strange ways. Sometimes, you have to experience deep pain and go through grief alone to come out the other side, stronger within yourself and wiser about your own soul. Good things will end but perhaps not when you think they will; becoming more interesting with every dip and turn. Me and Alice needed our space, to make room for the amount we would both independently grow in the years we didn't know each other.
I blubber through my gratitude and she cackles at my emotions. But I laugh back, because we have the same heart.

well, instagram, out of all of the platforms I hope you will enjoy this news
I WROTE A BOOK
a book! Yes! If you enjoy reading the things I write on here I hope you will enjoy the rest. You can preorder it on amazon now (link in description) and it will be out in November!!
There are about 50,000 words about my head and my heart. Also my body, and my family, my childhood, my soul. It gets quite intimate 😎
excited to share it with u!
Xx

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