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discovering_sarah discovering_sarah

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Sarah  Sarah's journey to happiness 🌻 Body Positive πŸ’ž ED survivor πŸ’ͺ


Repost @beatingeatingdisorders πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ
This is so important! .
Thinness does NOT = better!
No one body shape is better than another.
All bodies are beautiful! .
If you lose weight you're not suddenly going to become a better or a happier person.
Your not going to become kinder or more compassionate.
All thats going to happen is your body will weigh less. .
Stop waiting for your life to begin when you reach your goal weight.
Your life has already begun!
Your living it right now.
So you might as well enjoy it!?

Repost the amazing @jilly_peppa ,showing just how important representation is. If you haven't already go follow this amazing woman she is incredible and very inspirational. .
"Loving my body took some time for me. Having a visible physical disability has always taken a toll on how confident I am with my body image.
Growing up and not seeing anyone like me in magazines or in mainstream media somehow justified that I wasn't beautiful. So because I was different, the insecurity started: my legs were too weird, my body size, and the fact that I have many scars from operations always ran through my mind.
I had to confront myself and tell myself that being unique is beautiful. And even though I didn't see myself in these magazines I knew that I had something to offer that was different, something that they haven't seen before. I have to admit, that being a model has helped me progress on how I see myself. It's helped me become more confident and has given me a platform to embrace those insecurities.
Once you get to the level of loving every part those voices and insecurities slowly fade away. It takes work and being positive truly helps. This is my body and every inch of it makes me who I am, which is awesome." #ThisIsBodyPositive @nytimesfashion β„’@jilly_peppa

🌷 I love my cute stomach rolls in this photo. 🌷 That's something I never thought I would say but it's true! 🌷 I love how my body rolls and curves. 🌷 I love how natural and comfortable I look.
🌷 I love the freedom you can see in my face.
The freedom of no longer hating my body and actually enjoying life instead. 🌷 A few years ago a photo like this would of sent me into a spiral of self-destruction.
I hated my rolls with such a passion I couldn't even look at myself when they were visible.
I never would of dreamed of taking a photo where they were visible; let alone liking how I look in that photo and wanting to share it with the world. 🌷 In the time since then my rolls haven't magically changed but rather my mind has. 🌷 I no longer see rolls as the enemy but instead see that they are beautiful #goddessrolls 🌷 Our insecurities trap us feeling negatively about ourselves and our bodies. They lead us to blame our bodies instead of addressing what is actually underlying our insecurities. 🌷 When we practice self-acceptance you come to see that there is no wrong way to have a body. All bodies are beautiful, it is only the judgements we place on those bodies that are wrong. 🌷 So make a change and start being kind to your body.
Speak gently to the body parts you hate.
Start challenging the thoughts that tell you there's something wrong with that body part. 🌷 After all, hating your body hasn't changed how you feel so why not try loving it?

I'm done,
With your wicked ways.
I'm done,
Listening to the things you say.

I'm done,
With your hold over me.

Hear me when I say,
You no longer have power in me.
It's clear that we can no longer live in cohabitation.

So get out,
Now go.
This is not your nation.

My body is my own.
Something you tried to steal.

Taking my worth.
Making me fear every meal.
But no more,
Not now,
Not ever again.
You've ruined too many lives.
Time and time again.
This is your final warning.
I will not allow you to leave anymore people mourning.
I keep growing stronger and stronger.
So now I'm banishing you,
Because you're a monster.

Recovery is hard right now. .
Making positive decisions for myself is hard right now. .
Looking after myself is hard right now. .
I've been struggling with low mood recently and I'm not sure why. All I know is that things are hard right now. .
I'm not depressed. I just don't feel like my normal positive self and that is making everything else more difficult. .
Not everyday in recovery is a good day. Recovery isn't all sunshine and happiness. There are times when recovery feels like the hardest thing in the world. And that's okay!
Recovery doesn't give us all the answers. It doesn't mean that your never going to struggle again. It doesn't mean that you're always able to make positive decisions for yourself. .
What it does mean is that you don't give up! .
You keep fighting, no matter what. Even if it doesn't feel like you can. .
If you're unable to make positive decisions for yourself, you can choose NOT to make negative ones. .
So that's what I'm doing right now.
I'm taking each day as it comes. Distracting myself when my emotions become overwhelming and choosing not to engage in negative behaviours, despite them seeming like the easier option. .
That's what's allowing me to cope right now and that is okay! .
If all you did today was survive, that is okay! .
You don't always have to do difficult recovery work to continue in recovery. .
Looking after your needs and engaging in self-care is just as much a part of the recovery process as doing that difficult recovery work. .
When I am feeling more able I will start making positive decisions for myself again. I'll continue focussing on recovery and doing that difficult recovery work but right now all I can do is keep going. So that's what I'm going to do. .
This post goes out to anyone who is struggling right now.
. You are doing better than you think!
. You've already survived 100% of your worst days. . You can survive this too. . Just keep going.
. This too will pass. .
Image repost @honeylovesorg

When I was 19 I got some professional photos done.
My main motivation when getting these photos was to prove to both myself and everyone else that I can be beautiful. That I don't always look like the Sarah they see everyday. I believed the only way I could be beautiful was if I was given a makeover and photoshopped to an inch of my life. .
I remember on the way to the shoot hoping that they would photoshop away all my fat. Leaving me looking like the person I'd always wanted to be rather than who I really am. Around this time I'd started restricting again and my self-worth was plummeting lower and lower each day. .
I remember being so happy when I saw the photos (although a little disappointed they hadn't trimmed more fat away). Thinking "wow maybe I can be beautiful" but quickly reminded myself that it was only possible when I'm restricting, made up, in the perfect outfit, posed and photoshopped. That my 'real' self could never look beautiful like that. .
But when I look at these photos now I no longer feel that way. I no longer think they look better than my natural self. These photos while are beautiful barely look like me because of how edited and posed they are. I don't think I'm smiling in a single photo because of how self-conscious I felt in front of the camera. .
The next photo (swipe left) is of me now. No make up, natural hair, standing comfortably in my everyday clothes, smiling widely. This is a photo I thought I could never love. This is the body I thought I would never like. But when I look at this photo I see so much beauty. There is so much more character in this photo than the 1st one. I look like myself and that shines through in a way that no posed, perfected and photoshopped photo ever could. .
I no longer worry if I have fat visible because I no longer see fat as a bad thing. Fat does not remove my beauty, nor does it remove my worth. I no longer believe I have to be dolled up to be attractive or that my natural self is something to be ashamed of. .
Don't feel like you have to change yourself to be beautiful. Changing how you look on the outside won't change how you feel on the inside. You are beautiful exactly as you are!

Reminding you that what you see on Instagram isn't the whole picture.
We don't always look picture perfect in real life. .
The images we see and present to the world on social media are not representative of what we look like all the time. .
They are posed and perfected to present the most attractive image we can. .
But in real life we don't always have the perfect lighting and angles, we change shape when we move and something as simple as a blink changes how we look dramatically. .
We all have less attractive angles. They're nothing to be ashamed of! They are still you, just as much as the more attractive angles. One isn't better than the other! Its ludicrous to expect yourself to look picture perfect all the time. So many different factors affect the way we look. We're continually flowing and changing building one whole picture ... You! You in your entirety. .
Don't lose yourself comparing yourself to the images you see on social media. They are only a snapshot of the real thing.
The whole picture is always the most beautiful and it's impossible to capture the whole of you in something as simple as a photograph.

So yesterday was a bad day. I was triggered and instead of using positive coping strategies I fell back into ED behaviours. .
In the past I always used a relapse as an excuse to start engaging in ED behaviours again. I viewed relapsing as meaning I wasn't strong enough to continue with recovery or that I'd ruined everything by relapsing so there was no point trying to continue in recovery.
BUT πŸ‘ THIS πŸ‘ ISN'T πŸ‘ TRUE! .
Relapses happen, unfortunately, they are part of recovery. They're painful, they mess with your head and your ED will try take over again. .
But it doesn't have to! You control how a relapse affects you. .
And today I chose not to let it affect me. Instead of viewing the relapse as undoing all my progress, I chose to learn from it instead.
I spent time identifying what had triggered me and the ways I can avoid it in the future. I made sure I practiced self-care and ate properly. I focussed on using positive coping strategies instead of negative one, and you know what? .
IT WORKED! I feel great today. .
Instead of feeling bad about the choices I made yesterday, I feel proud of myself for the ones I made today. I feel stronger in myself for facing my ED and not allowing it to defeat me. .
Keep fighting!
Keep choosing recovery!
The only way a relapse will undo your progress in recovery is if you let it! .
Artwork not mine. If anyone knows who the artist is please let me know so I can credit them.

I have a real issue connecting the image I have of myself in my head with what I look like in real life.
It's part of the reason I find selfies so useful; they give me a greater understanding of what I actually look like. .
When I see my body in real life any perceived flaw I have expands until it is all I can see. .
Every time I see myself in the mirror I am hit with an odd feeling of familiarity and acceptance like "Oh yeah, THAT'S what I look like" but at the same time I am hit by surprise. While I do see myself everyday the image I see is constantly manipulated by my mind convincing me that my body looks completely different.
It's part of the reason I find it so hard to stop picking my fingers. Every time the skin isn't smooth I see it as a flaw and I become obsessed until it's removed. Logically I know that there are no such thing as flaws, only things my disorder sees as flawed but when you are perceiving both at the same time it becomes very hard to distinguish.
While my body image has definitely improved and I can see beauty in myself where before I'd only find repulsion. I still find it very hard to reconnect with what my body actually looks like. .
Has anyone else struggled with this and if so what have you found helpful?

Your daily reminder of just how wonderful you are. β€οΈπŸ’œπŸ’—πŸ’œβ€οΈ
Repost @beatingeatingdisorders

My body often feels like it is not entirely my own.
It is a shared space.
It homes not only me and but also my eating disorder. .
Eating disorders can feel like a separate entity competing for the same space that you contain. Constantly trying to take over and squash you into nothingness. .
Trapping you in an abusive relationship. Convincing you that you need it, that there is no life without it. Leaving you feeling too controlled and scared to fight against it. Removing your power and instead leaving you feeling worthless. .
You can take your power back and learn to control your eating disorder!
You body is yours, NOT your eating disorders. .
Each time you choose fight against your eating disorder: you grow stronger and your eating disorder becomes weaker, you begin to regain ownership of your body and you push your eating disorder further and further away into nothingness. .
I will strip my eating disorder of its power and the space it holds in me!
I am so much more than my disorder!
I am so much stronger than my disorder!
I will win this! .
And so can you! .
Eating disorders are weak, they feed off of people's vulnerabilities and convince them that they are, in fact, the weak ones. But this isn't true! .
You are so much stronger than you believe!
You've lived with this terrible disorder, that is literally trying to kill you every single day, and YOU'VE SURVIVED! .
That is strength and the only way to beat an eating disorder is with strength.
The strength to go against what your eating disorder is screaming at you and choosing yourself instead.
The strength to keep fighting it, even when you don't want to.
The strength to choose life over your eating disorder. .
And if you don't feel you have that strength right now, it's ok! There is help available that will allow you regain that strength but you have to reach out and ask for help! .
There is so much more to life than your eating disorder tells you.
So trust in yourself, draw on your strength by choosing recovery and actually start experiencing it!

Repost the seriously amazing @nourishandeat .This is such an important post! YOU have the power to change the things you're unhappy about and to change your life for the better! For anyone who hasn't discovered Gina's page before, CHECK IT OUT NOW! Gina is incredible and her page has helped me so much in my recovery.
"You can't recover AND not want to change.
You can't heal your body AND continue to damage it.
You can't create a new mindset AND keep your old one.
because that's where real change starts.
With YOU.
An eating disorder is NEVER your fault β€” but recovery has to start with you. ✨

You are so much more powerful than you believe
and worth SO MUCH MORE than you think.
Get tired of putting yourself down.
Get tired of self hatred.
Get tired of anyone who makes you feel like shit, INCLUDING YOURSELF.
Change begins with you, my wonderful squishies. You are so worth it. πŸ’—πŸ™ŒπŸΌ
#always " β„’@nourishandeat

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