discovering_sarah discovering_sarah

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Sarah  Sarah's journey to happiness 🌻 Body Positive πŸ’ž ED survivor πŸ’ͺ

To any of my UK followers, πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
Today is your last chance to register to vote in the general election. ✌️
I cannot urge you more to register. πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
This election is so important, the outcome will dictate so many crucial factors including the future of the nhs, mental health services, disability support, university fees and crucial negotiations following leaving the EU, among many other things. ✌️
Registering to vote only takes a few minutes so what are you waiting for? πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
I registered and I'm on the other side of the world, so what's your excuse? ✌️
Register. Have your say. Do something!
This result could dramatically change the country. Would you rather stand up and fight for what is right or sit by and watch as things continue to decline? πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§
So much has happened politically over the last year and all of us now have the opportunity to change things so we must step up and take this opportunity to vote. ✌️
So register now at:

I am so in love with my @pineyandco pants.
🍍 I wear them everywhere: when I'm lounging round the house, to the beach, out on the town. 🍍They are incredibly comfy but look great as well. They stretch and change shape with you body, so no more undoing the top button after a delicious meal. 🍍 I can't wait to get my hands on some more. I love them so much. 🍍 Piney&co go from size XS to 3XL. So what are you waiting for? 🍍 CLICK ON THE LINK IN MY BIO NOW TO GET YOUR OWN AMAZING PAIR OF PINEY&CO PANTS 🍍 while your at it check their #lovewhatyougot blog. A blog dedicated to celebrating body positivity and self-love which I had the honour to be featured on.

I found these photos the other day. They're from 2 years a go, at this point I was in recovery but I was still entrenched in diet culture and self-hatred. I believed my natural self wasn't good enough or beautiful enough so I would edit every single photo of me. I thought that in doing so it would somehow prove to myself and the rest of the world that I am beautiful and I believed the only way to do that was by editing my appearance closer to what society tells us beauty is. 🌱
However when I saw these photos I was perplexed. I remember that day so clearly. I remember thinking how much better I looked in the edited photos and wanting to share them while hiding the originals away. 🌱
However when I look at these photos now, I don't feel that way. I think the original photos are far more beautiful. In editing my appearance to fit societies standards, I edited out all that makes me me. My freckles disappeared, my skin tone is different, my teeth are whiter, my face is thinner. I even flipped my face because for some reason I thought that made me look more attractive. Changing my appearance into something completely different. Something that isn't real.
Looking at these photos now, it makes me sad that I'd felt such pressure to change my appearance. That I couldn't appreciate my natural beauty for what it is. That i'd wasted all that time editing away my character. I didn't need to change my appearance to be beautiful or worthy of being seen, I already was. 🌱
The images we see in the media and social media aren't real, they are edited just like these ones have been. Reinforcing those backwards beauty standards that diet culture strives for. But beauty isn't one thing, despite what we are told. Your beauty comes from your own unique qualities. Not from changing yourself to fit someone else's standard. So stop comparing and be yourself instead. Raw, unedited and unapologetic. You are already so beautiful just the way you are. Don't allow diet culture to take anything more from you.

Agghh my @pineyandco pants are here! I'm so excited.
Go check out their beautiful pants now by clicking on the link in my bio!
You can also check out their amazing #lovewhatyougot blog which both me and the wonderful @authenticityoverapproval have been featured on talking about our journeys to self-love. 🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍

#Repost this wonderful bopo warrior @becomingbodypositive . If you haven't already please go and check out her page now! Clare always speaks such important truths and her page has helped me grow in so many ways. She is truly incredible! "It’s hard for most people to accept the idea that I may not want to change my body – that I may not want to spend my day racking up steps on a FitBit or use up six months recovering from a tummy tuck or commit to β€œlosing the last 20 pounds” or spend 60 days doing some shred/cleanse that will help me β€œshrink the evidence” massive weight loss has left on my body. But here’s the thing: even if my body composition was something I could control (πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„can’t wait for the health and fitspo trolls to come after this one), even if dieting DID work (πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„), even if I could restrict my food without a massive psychological implosion – why should I have to? So what, because my body is not the ideal, I have an obligation to make my body my primary project for the rest of my life? I have to sacrifice my mind, my energy, my time, my schedule, my relationships, my plans, my goals, my dreams in pursuit of a flatter stomach and better toned arms? What if I say no? What if I decide I have more important things to worry about – like writing a book or going back to school or finding love and filling my life with adventures? What if we chose to stop β€œperfecting” our bodies like it’s all we’ve got to offer the world?"

I wish I could say that I love myself and my body all of the time but that would be a lie. I don't.
Some days I love myself unconditionally. I love every single part of me and don't question that love in the slightest.
Other days I hate myself. My body is the enemy. I can't face it, let alone love it. I hate how I look. I target certain body parts. I tear down my personality, my actions, everything about me.
Most days however, I fall somewhere in the middle. I don't hate myself but I don't love myself either. I find myself questioning parts of myself and whether they could be improved, but I don't villainize them. I see my faults and strengths alike and I accept them both. However its always the faults that stay on my mind.
I've come such a long way from how I used to feel about myself that I often confuse that acceptance with self-love. But not hating yourself isn't the same as loving yourself. If you are still holding onto those supposed 'faults' about yourself and talking negatively to yourself because of those 'faults' you don't love yourself entirely yet. πŸ’—
And that's okay! Self-love takes time and it's not always consistent. Some days you might not love yourself but that doesn't invalidate the days when you do. πŸ’—
Self-acceptance comes before self-love and is a fight within itself. When you've spent your life hating yourself you have to go against every fibre in your being to work on accepting those things. Facing up to the reality of who you are, what you've been through and what you want from life. Being completely honest with yourself and breaking free from the lies you tell yourself. πŸ’—
It's hard.
It's really hard.
But you know what's harder?
Living your life everyday lying to yourself, hiding your true nature and trying to be someone else, convincing yourself that you will be happy but only when you have to changed yourself enough. That isn't a life, it's a conscious death. πŸ’—
So break free.
Work on opening up to yourself. Facing your demons and accepting them as a part of your journey. You can't rush self-love, it's something you have to discover and that journey of discovery will only make you stronger! πŸ’—

So I was having a clean up today listening to music and I started dancing away for no reason other than I was enjoying the music and wanted to have a boogie. So I did. πŸ’ƒ
I wasn't thinking about how many calories I was burning or using exercise as a way to change my body. I wasn't doing it to stick to a fitness schedule. I didn't care what I looked like or if I was doing a good job. I was purely dancing because it felt good. πŸ’ƒ
Exercise doesn't have to be a punishment. It should be something you enjoy. You don't have to use it to 'make up' for what you've eaten. Your diet has nothing to do with why or when you should exercise. It isn't just a tool for changing the appearance of your body, it does so much more than that. It doesn't matter if your not the best at it or it takes you a while to improve. All that matters is that your having fun and enjoying yourself. πŸ’ƒ
Exercise because you want to. There are so many amazing, fun ways to exercise there's no point wasting time doing one that you don't enjoy. So stop exercising because you feel you have to, it only makes you feel worse. Instead exercise because you want to move your body and you enjoy the sport. All of the health benefits still take effect, even more so when your actually enjoying what your doing instead of making you miserable. πŸ’ƒ
Listen to what your body is telling you. If it's telling you it wants to move then do, if it's telling you it's tired then don't, rest. Break yourself free of the conditions we place on exercise and start enjoying movement again. #donthatetheshake πŸ’ƒ
P.S. Damn I'm in serious need of some new leggings, I didn't realise how holey they had gotten!

Recovery on a budget; It's bloody difficult. The costs associated with recovery is something that isn't often discussed but can be a major barrier to getting the help that you need. πŸ’Έ
Recovery is already really hard. It's made even harder when you don't have the finances to facilitate that recovery.
Recovery can end up costing A LOT. Not only do you need to dedicate your time and energy to recovery which can make it difficult to work. There are also many costs attached to recovery; whether it's medication, therapy, doctors appointments, travel to and from appointments, distraction techniques, self-care resources or food itself. It all adds up.
Without financial stability instead of being able to focus fully on recovery, you'll find yourself preoccupied with how your going to afford to do so. This causes increased levels of stress and removes focus from recovery itself. This is a major issue and something there needs to be discussion, consideration and awareness around. πŸ’Ά
Unfortunately many financial aspects of recovery tie into political issues and aren't something that will necessarily be resolved quickly. Healthcare funding continues to be a governmental issue that impacts many aspects of treatment. It also unfortunately means the majority of us aren't able to resolve these issues. It is, however, why it's so important to stimulate conversation and awareness of these issues in order to challenge governmental procedures.
But what about the stuff that doesn't fall into political issues? The aspects of recovery we would be required to fund regardless of the governmental policy? How can we overcome these barriers and get everyone the help they need? πŸ’΅
This is the conversation I would like to open up. How has budgeting and financial restrictions affected your recovery? What has been beneficial for preventing or overcoming those barriers? πŸ’Έ
I want to create a resource that addresses these issues and I would love to hear your opinions and experiences on the subject. Please comment below or DM me with any suggestions or opinions you have and let's open up a wider conversation on the difficulties associated with recovery on a budget

#Repost @theeverybodybeautystandard ."When I found body-positivity, it was like a switch had gone off in my head...'You mean I don't have to hate myself?!' It was such an alien concept to me. I'd hated myself for as long as I could remember, and for what? Because my body shape isn't the same as the 5% of the population who naturally fit the current beauty standards? Is that really all I'm worth? No, I am worth so much more, and I am not just a body! I am kind, caring, smart, passionate, funny, empathetic, interesting, opinionated, beautiful, a friend, a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter -- I am Sarah! My body is such a minor aspect of who I am, and yet for years I punished my body just for it being its natural self. I struggled with an eating disorder for so long that I honestly didn't think I had any other choice than to be cruel and abusive toward myself, but I was wrong. Anyone can love themselves! Loving yourself isn't an innate quality, it's something that's learned. We as a species are natural problem-solvers, constantly seeking out problems in order to develop ourselves and push evolution further... but when you only seek *your* problems out, it quickly becomes counterproductive and leads us down a path of self-destruction, and we lose faith in both ourselves and our worth. So, when I found body-positivity and how all of these amazing people had overcome their self-hatred, how they loved/accepted themselves for ALL that they are, how they had reached a place where they felt content with not only their body but also who they are (no matter what size/shape they were), I realized how wrong I had it all these years, that I too could be happy and love myself. After a while of working through these feelings, I too wanted to share my story and give back, just as those who had given me my life back had done. Body-positivity is for everyone. You don't have to spend your life hating yourself and your body -- you too can love yourself! Start accepting yourself for all that you are, instead of beating yourself up for what you're not. We're all beautiful and unique in our own special way, and it's time we start embracing that." #selflovesuitseverybody

Why do memes like this even exist? Other than to reinforce sexism and further engrain the idea that as a woman all you should care about is what men like about your body.
I like my boobs, bum, eyes and smile and that's all that matters not whether or not a man likes them. None of my body parts are better than the others, they are all apart of me. They all play a role in my ability to experience the world and I love them for that, not for whether they're what men are looking for in a woman.
Why is it that people continue to insist that women are only here for the pleasure of men? We are so much more than that! You break us down into body parts like the rest of us doesn't matter. Our brains, our hearts, our passions, our talents. Women have so much to offer the world, which includes men, other than just our body parts. So why minimise our existence to which body part men like more?
Why continue perpetuating the idea that it's ok to simplify a woman's existence into which body part men look for? 🚫
Your body is here for you, not men's enjoyment so who cares what they think? And if someone is only interested in you because of one part of your body they are not treating you with the respect you deserve and aren't worth your time of day.
Sadly, however, in this misogynistic society that we live in, women are still taught that we are nothing more than a collection of body parts here for the male gaze. 🚫
But FUCK THAT! You are so much more than your body and you deserve to be treated accordingly. It doesn't matter which body part men look for. You don't need a man's approval to love yourself or your body. It has nothing to do with them! So celebrate every part of you and don't give a flying fuck about whether or not it's what men are looking for. 🚫
Image reposted from @everybodydeserveslove_ .Why on earth a page that is supposed to encourage self love and body positivity is reinforcing such a backwards concept, I have no idea. But I hope they are aware that it isn't just a funny meme but rather reinforcing sexism and minimising women, once again, down to their appearance.

I wish I could go back in time,
and tell my younger self all the things I know now.
I'd tell her to vow,
That she will be kind to herself regardless of the lies her disorder yells inside.
I'd tell her I know how much she's struggling,
With all the pain she locked inside.
I'd tell her it's okay that she doesn't know who she is,
That will come with time. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her that she's good enough,
Exactly how she is, it's not something she needs to find.
I'd tell her that she does not need to starve and hurt herself,
That will only ever bring more pain.
I'd tell her how much good there is inside of her,
That she's masked behind all that pain. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her how beautiful she is,
That she does not need to change a thing.
I'd tell her not to hide her smile,
That it will only be taken from her for a while. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her it's okay to feel this way,
That she isn't going crazy she's just looking for self-love.
I'd tell her things get better,
That she no longer cries alone at night. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her she can win this fight,
That food and weight are no longer all that's in her sight.
I'd tell her she can ask for help,
That she doesn't have to go through this alone. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her she deserves help too,
That no one should go through this alone.
I'd tell her not to be afraid,
That life is just one big ride. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her how sorry I am,
That I fed her so many lies. πŸŒ€
I'd tell her she could not know,
But it's something she will find with time.
I wish I could go back in time,
and tell my younger self all the things I know now.
I think it would of changed things,
But now we'll never know. πŸŒ€
So read my words as warning,
To stop this dangerous path.
Life is worth so much more,
Than what that path tells you life is for.

#Repost @yourstruelymelly has summed this up beautifully. Helping us learn and grow as always. Thank you πŸ’ž "Can we please stop only celebrating healthy fat bodies. ❀️ Can we please stop only celebrating fat bodies that we find attractive. ❀️ Can we please stop only celebrating fat bodies that are feminine. ❀️ Can we please stop only celebrating fat bodies that are white. ❀️ Can we please stop only celebrating fat bodies that make us comfortable. ❀️ ❀️❀️ Body Positivity should make us uncomfortable, it's should make us question what we've been taught to believe, it shouldn't be palatable or something that makes us only feel good. It should challenge us. Body Positivity is not something that we adapt to our liking. It is defined, it has a purpose, it is political. Body Positivity is about recognizing how our bodies affect our experience in this world and it's about breaking down those systems of oppression. Body Positivity is not interchangeable for self love, if that's all it is to you, you are co-opting a movement and watering it down, contributing to its de-radicalization. Self-love, while not inherently bad, will not change the ways in which people with fat bodies are discriminated against, or the ways in which trans folks, black folks, folks with disabilities are treated and devalued in this world. This is a movement for marginalized bodies. I'm not afraid to say that. I celebrate self-love because I know it's power, I celebrate body neutrality because I believe we are so much more than our bodies. I celebrate recovery from a life where so many of us have felt trapped in our bodies we were taught are not good enough. But Body Positivity at its core questions the hierarchy of bodies and it doesn't buy into the lies. Self love cannot overcome all, if it does for you, that's where you find your privilege. BODY POSITIVITY IS FOR FAT BODIES, BLACK BODIES, DISABLED BODIES. ITS FOR TRANS FOLKS AND ALL PEOPLE OF COLOR. BODY POSITIVITY IS FOR THe HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY. FOR THOSE WHO ARE MASCULINE AND FEMININE. AND FOR EVERY SHAPE OF BODY NO MATTER HOW YOUR FAT IS PLACED. Body Positivity is powerful, don't take away it's power by simply redefining it as self love."

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