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Different Kind of Gay  How to be gay and truly happy? This account belongs to those who believe that there is more to gay life than what popular culture is telling us.

Many of you asked me why I started this blog. Well, this is the very reason.

I remember one night watching one of the Youtube clips made for the project”It Gets Better!”, which basically publishes videos of adult gay men telling their stories of survival and asking gay teenagers struggling with depression not to give up.

These videos are great testimonies of how gay life eventually gets better and I believe that this is the case.

One of the comments below the video, though, shocked me beyond words.

The comment read: "it gets better, if you are good looking“.

I felt the pain of this man, his loneliness and despair. I remembered all those gay men I met in my life, great human beings who were forced into loneliness just because they were not tall enough, had no facial hair, or lacked “masculinity” , or who were simply at the wrong side of 40s.

I instantly remembered Joe, a guy I checked out once at OK Cupid, whose profile demanded: “Contact me, only if your are fit.” Just for the record - Joe wasn’t fit either.

The gay stereotype of beauty and perfection has nothing to do with our high aesthetic standards or visual nature of our sexuality.

It is deeply rooted in toxic shame we picked up growing up and chronically low self-esteem.

So what do we do about this? I personally stoped describing my dates to my friends in physical terms. I don’t use hot or handsome as a first reference about someone who I just met.

And that helped me realise I can actually see deeper than the skin.
#instagay #gayboy #love #lgbt #gayguy #lesbian #lgbt #gaylove #gayman #gaypride #boy #gaymen #cute #loneliness #gayrights #bisexual #gaylife #gaycanada #gayusa #gayeurope #grindr #gays #homo #

“After spending an evening at a cocktail party in Beverly Hills, a friend explained the concept of “glistening” to me. Glistening happens when a gay man pretends to be listening to you but is really looking over your shoulder to see if there is someone else he should be talking to or is listening to someone else’s conversation. When my friend told me about glistening, I laughed, as I thought about all the many conversations I’ve had at various events with gay men where this is exactly what was - happening. And, of course, it forced me to consider how many times I’ve done the very same thing. This skill not only helps to manage your own emotions but also is very powerful in building relationships with others” Allan Downs in Velvet Rage. #instagay #gayboy #love #lgbt #gayguy #lesbian #lgbt #gaylove #gayman #gaypride #boy #gaymen #cute #loneliness #gayrights #bisexual #gaylife #gaycanada #gayusa #gayeurope #grindr #gays #homo #gayfamily #gaychristian #equality #quitgrindr #pride #equality

Benn and Michael, students (and why not to say gay christians) from Sydney won Australia’s first legal gay wedding competition, endorsed by major LGBTI organisations worth $40.000, including a ceremony at historic Pier One Sydney, near where they had their first kiss.
They fell in love through talking on the phone every day. Beautiful. Old school romantic. “You know someone is the one when you struggle not to say ‘I love you’ from the beginning’’ said Ben during the ceremony.
I cried so many times over their wedding video… is there anything more powerful, just two men and their love.

Thank you guys for keeping our hope alive. Nurture your beautiful, pure love and never, ever give up on each other.

Video belongs to DNM wedding videos and story about Ben and Micheal was published on instagram account of littlelaneevents.

“Just have fun. The word that had come to define my existence. I was constantly looking for fun, having fun, advertising for fun, begging for fun, worrying about the fun I’d had, terrified that all that fun had given me a disease or was going to tip me over the edge. Fun was revolving round my head, 24/7. Fun would see me log on to the intemet as soon as I got home from work, talking on Grindr, desperate for a hook-up, whilst keeping myself in the zone by downloading streams of other people having fun. After my last relationship ended, fun had become letting strangers into my house without a second thought. Fun saw me drunkenly texting my friends, begging for sex. Fun saw me putting myself into dangerous and uncomfortable situations. Fun was defining my relationships, dictating how I led my life and leaving me in a state where once again suicide started to look like it might be a way out.” (Mathew Todd:Straight Jacket) #instagay #gayboy #love #lgbt #gayguy #lesbian #lgbt #gaylove #gayman #gaypride #boy #gaymen #cute #loneliness #gayrights #bisexual #gaylife #gaycanada #gayusa #gayeurope #grindr #gays #homo #gayfamily #gaychristian #equality #quitgrindr #pride #equality

Never, ever be afraid to be different. It is only when we distinguish ourselves from the expected that we make an impression. Trust me, I know. I have been doing this all my life.

Sydney is literally a gay paradise, at least on the outside. Gay men “own” entire suburbs and live lavish lives. However, when asked to rate quality of their lives, their life experience, results were shocking. "The difference in average life satisfaction between gay people compared with heterosexual people is comparable in magnitude to the difference you see between people with a moderate disability and people who are not disabled," said professor Wilkins, from the Institute of Applied Economic.

Like a good dinner party, what I’m calling “gay book club” has a few critical ingredients — gay friends who like each other but don’t see each other that regularly, a space that’s comfortable enough to accommodate a group of eight or more for book discussion and the requisite post-discussion noodling around, very free-flowing booze, and (this is key) a smattering of new faces to keep it interesting. Everything else — having finished the book, snacks, straight women — is optional.
Let’s say you’re at a bar,” says Erik, a 30-year-old editor who’s in my book club, “you’re meeting people and just going by looks. But at book club, your intelligence and intellect are on display. It’s a different kind of mating dance.” Observing that romance will fly in a room of gay men is like discovering that water is wet, but the kind of attraction that blooms over discussion of a book is different than the kind that’s stirred on Grindr.
In one meeting you learn the kind of information about a person — their values and capacity for empathy, or their ability to engage differing points of view — that would take at least three dinners. Book-club meetings are effectively group speed dating. This article originally appeared on New York Magazine 2017

Ian was one of the decent guys. A gay Christian, happily married to his nerdy lover Steve of 7 years. One day while preparing their laundry for washing, Ian found a SIM card in one of Steve’s pockets. Soon he learned that Steve has been in another relationship with another men and that it lasted pretty much as long as their own. Finally, he was able to understand why Steve’s phone was switched off so often. Ian ended up clinically depressed. Steve moved to another city. Some time passed before Ian would consider being in a relationship again. When he finally did, he was extremely suspicious of his new boyfriends whenever they weren’t together. When his boyfriends friends whom Ian had not met would call, Ian would become crazily jealous and almost always end up in a fight with his boyfriend. Ian has not been able to maintain longterm relationships ever since. Steve has damaged him beyond repair.

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