Flying two evacuated cats back to Palm Beach:
At 0400, I put their carriers in the backseat of a #lyft.
Twenty minutes into our drive, an escaped kitty leaps into the driver's lap. The driver speaks *just enough* English to articulate his paralyzing fear of cats. The cat is equally afraid of him, and jumps down to the pedals. Now I'm in this man's crotch, apologizing profusely, coaxing a crying kitty who is stuck under the brake, as we fly down the highway at 80 mph.
Ok. I get the cat in his carrier as we get to the airport. I set him down at the check in (to see how he got out). The moment his carrier touches the ground, kitty leaps out, and runs through the terminal. I drop everything and run through the airport, screaming, 'come back! I have treats! LET ME LOVE YOU!' Kitty comes across a dog, leaps five feet in the air, and I grab him.
Meanwhile, other kitty is jealous, and screaming her head off. Agents ask me if she's injured, but I ignore them and yell at the cat carrier. "YES, FLUFFY, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE DISSATISFIED. BUT I SAID THAT I'D GET YOU THERE, NOT THAT I'D GET YOU THERE HAPPY." I stuff boy kitty in his bag, and cradle it to my chest.
I get to TSA at 0530, covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, and muttering to a bag that I refuse to put down.
TSA tells me to take the cats out and carry them, together, through the X-Ray.
I carry their fat, #furry butts through the X-Ray.
For a moment, all is well. Then, boy kitty swipes my face, and bolts for the TSA offices.
Kitty hides behind a TSA file cabinet. Two officers - big, tough men - get on their hands and knees making baby voices. Kitty's unamused.
I get the screaming cats in their carriers, and hold them in by their their heads (like I'm trying to drown them) for the 3 hour flight.
Thankfully #americanairlines #firstclass has #glenlivet - even if flight attendants are judgy at 0700. I'm done being #crazycatlady. Maybe I'll try #tinder ? #hurricaneirma #travel #love #animals #cat #catsofinstagram #car #wanderlust #funny #humor #funnymemes #streetstyle #travelphotography #wanderer #travelblogger #igtravel #traveling #travels #photography #miami