1 in 4 people this year have or will experance mental health. I am one of those people after years of being someone so strong and never letting anything get me down I felt as if I lost my battle with everything.
I turned into a person I didn't even know, had panic attacks on my way to work and because I had made such a massive effort to go to work monday to friday my weekends where spend with me just wanting to be at home on my own.
After being really honest with myself after falling into a very deep black hole with me no longer wanting to be here, I went to the doctors in June. I was lucky enough to see an amazing doctor who could see after many years of dealing with multiple tumours she hugged me and told me I was not alone and it was normal to feel this way after multiple things going wrong in my life. She helped me get therapy something that lately I wont go too because it got to the stage in my therapy where it takes me back to speak about my past life. Something i feel like I still am not yet ready to deal with.
One major thing being in 2009 my father was blown up in action in Afghanistan, that year changed my life. I had no idea that from bottling it up from the age of 16 it would later effect my life and it being from something being triggered last year. I look back and I know for the past 8 years I felt like I couldn't be upset or couldn't speak out about how my family life had massively changed because I was an army kid whos dad did make it back and even though he wasn't the same man I didn't think I had the right to get therapy because there was kids without their dad.
I've began to except I slipped into a dark place and that me and only me can help myself to get out of it.
I don't take any antidepressants because I choose not too, I've turned to yoga and a lots of reading. And it's helping... don't get me wrong I still have good and super bad days but I am no longer scared of living in the fears of my past. The past 3 days I have been reading The Universe has your back by gabriella bernstein 🕉 and what a book! Honestly to anyone who thinks they may have depression or anxiety YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN! #mentalhealthday #fearintolove #yogajourney