dehydrated_soul dehydrated_soul

321 posts   55 followers   19 followings

i smile a lot  They call me an "it."

My hair feels weird lately

Everything is gonna change in 2 weeks and everything I've built for myself here will disappear

Cameron knows what's up

Have fun playing God👀

You just think that all the pain amd hurt in the world is something you, and you alone, understand? You say "maybe if they felt pain like me theyd grow" who are you to dictate what amount of pain anyone has felt? You think everyone and everything is out to get you? What the fuck, man? What the actual fuck? I wasn't doing anything to disrespect you or to invalidate your feelings. All I said was you didnt understand it the way I felt it because we've lived entirely different lives and have entirely different perspectives and you get mad because I say you cant see it the EXACT same way I see it? Why are you so desperate to be different from everyone else, yet understand the view of everyone on the fucking planet? God why did I take you back into my life? I hate myself for romanticizing the missing I did for you, fuck. Why did I romanticize everyting I felt in your absence if all youre gonna do now is tell me you know everything I feel. You dont even know how I feel towards you. Stop acting like you know all. Fuck.

Shootin' my realest shot.
I can actually see the difference between then and now.
I'm more confident in a way with my actions?
I go for it and I'm more honest and concise.
And it's getting me somewhere.
Before I was too scared to reach out and too conscious of what i was doing and it git in the way of any real progress.
He said I'm the only one who really tries.
That was so touching to me.
Thank you to everything.
Thank you for everything.

I've never even listened to Post Malone

I'm so happy enjoying the simple things with him
I'm so happy enjoying the deep and thoughtful conversations with him
I'm so happy he is in my life

You're not the only thing I think about and I think that's a way healthier connection than before.
We went to the cemetary at 3am and today you said we could go to the park one day and I kinda love the ambiguity of that.
You've gotten way chubbier and it's so cute.
Sometimes you send a fat paragraph of some kinda deep explanation and it makes me swoon so goddamn hard.
I missed this :^)

Confidence

I was reading last night. Wayway late last night. One of the protagonists swayed me. He was all "i will win her back." I reached out to my past something? If you've been keeping up with my captions you know how I often I talk of him. I quickly and rashly sent him a message, however; i did unsend it.
That's when i thought it would be nothing, amount to nothing.
Although, he took account and asked if i had messaged him.
I've been in that situation before.
I didn't care so I didn't address it at all.
He addressed it.
Thank fucking luck or God or whatever the fuck you wanna call it.
Thank you for giving me a way to shoot my shot.
Possibly my last chance.
Two days ago we weren't on speaking terms, and tonight he invited me out to the cemetery with him.
I haven't snuck out in months. In this house I never have.
I'm gonna meet him.
I will not lose my goddamn shot.
I AM SHOOTING MY SHOT FOR THE REALEST TIME.
Because who I am now isn't fucking afraid of what could or should or may happen.
I'm a different person than who I was.
I will win him back.

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