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dannyvegasucks dannyvegasucks

588 posts   1373 followers   1063 followings

Danny Vega  NYC Comedian

Just paid $2 to get smashed at chess by this punk and now I am gonna kick his ass lol

ENORMOUS #BLESSED GRATITUDE to all who put me on shows and came to them in AZ. This is my dad, mad at me for 📷ing him while eating shirtless. That is dog food on the right side of tray- for feeding Muggles (he claims).

Doing some fests and cities! Come to a show! 😘😎🤡

When da matrix glitch

We all have that friend who decides to try and make a mustache work. They say, "dude, people like it." People don't like it. It's hideous. Keep mustaches where they belong: on the faces of society's n'er-do-wells, pedophiles and Italians.

We've gone from a couple that Yelps to one that does spin classes. We have the same name and we used to be cousins. This is America and none of this is illegal.

Thanks CDC. I was trying to get it but now I know

This restaurant gets me

I'm a Jewish extra and it's everything I ever dreamed w @millyon4ire

My new sketch team is called, Call Your Mom and you seriously should

Tubing in the Delaware! George Washington once crossed this river and now I'm peeing myself in it

Every time I park the smart car I say "I don't think we're gonna fit" and now Dani is leaving me 😎

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