I remember when I found this Halloween costume for Adrianna. I knew she had to have it so I used the money I had earned in tips from waiting tables at Chili's and got it for her. From that day forward, I referred to her as my "doodle bug" and to this day, that is how her contact is listed in my iphone. I used to love dressing her up...I would take any extra tips I earned and walk around K-mart (they had super cute Sesame street baby apparel that was affordable, and they also had lay away) and I would get her a new outfit. I don't know why, but this somehow made me feel "better" -- like a better mom, a better provider, a better person somehow. As if the ability to provide "things" equated to love, which we all clearly know is NOT the case. But back then I was growing up alongside her...making mistakes, and learning along the way.
This morning as she heads to school wearing a shirt we got at the Beyonce concert, I am reminded of those times when I lived for being able to put her in a new outfit. And while I no longer have to put a new outfit on lay-away and wait tables to afford it, I still oddly feel that same strange sense of pride this morning seeing her wear that shirt. Maybe it's because she will always be my little girl I love to dress up, or maybe it's because it's a reminder of how far we have come, or maybe, just maybe, its simply because clothing often equates to memories... it brings you back to a specific moment in time where you can recall exactly what you were wearing and what you were doing. So, just like seeing her in this costume brings me back to watching her toddle down the street trick-or-treating, every time she wears that Beyonce shirt I will be reminded of going to that concert together making memories that can never be forgotten!