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MARK GROVES  Human Connection Specialist. I post no-BS relationship advice. Founder @MOTUsummit #CREATETHELOVE New Article Here!!👇🏻

http://bit.ly/2rEN5tV

Sending everyone so much love ❤️. Tag someone (or lots of peeps) who you want to give a little pump up today. 🙌🏽#createthelove

We hold back our deepest truths and vulnerabilities out of fear that we won’t be loved. We decide for other people that they can’t handle all of us and who we are at our core. And then we make them wrong for not accepting us…even though we’ve never given them the chance to. We construct ourselves based on the notions of what who we think other people want us to be.

Who do you think you need to be to be loved?

If you dropped all of that… all of the shit that you think you need to be, who would you be? How would you REALLY love? What would you do for work?

The heaviest weight a relationship ever bears is one where we don’t get to be ourselves. It’s up to US to let go of who we think we need to be and become.
Of course we co-create this space with our partner… one which allows and encourages openness and the shedding of our skin, encouraged to grow and change. If our relationship can’t and won’t offer the space to foster that… then we need to let it go.

Freedom comes in accepting who we are at our essence… and being accepted when we decide to become that.
That is who the right people fall in love with, the imperfect parts that remind them that they can be imperfect too. #createthelove

You can't experience deep love without accepting the risk of experiencing deep hurt. We must live in the paradox of the pain potential love brings. And even after every heartbreak, I can tell you it's always worth it... especially is you open up your heart to the possibility of meeting your next. They always make the previous endings make sense. #createthelove

"Moving forward sometimes demands that we live lost, knowingly surrendering our attachment to who we think we are, voluntarily stumbling around in the dark with little to guide us." ~ Jeff Brown. 🎥: @jaxonhowell

Great love is patient... Not perfect. Great partners won't always know the right thing to say and they won't always know exactly what to do... But they'll try. And that's the part that matters... The effort. The choice to stay committed to helping us see our beauty and our heart even when we don't have the tools to do so ourselves.

Love is challenging. Learning to be a great partner is too. Give yourself the space to make mistakes, grow, and become. And give your partner that same freedom to be. Great love grows from there. #createthelove

When we begin to feel gratitude for the people from our past we remove the negatively charged emotion we tend to store with their memories. Of course, this sounds so simple to say, and yet another thing to do.

The trick is, next time you feel a negative thought or feeling about someone, take a second, thank your heart for protecting you, and then think about what lesson is in that experience that hurt you? Begin to not respond to your negative emotions and instead, take control over them. Become the observer of the things you feel, i.e. instead of being "hurt", you *feel* "hurt".

If you consistently do this (it can be challenging at first, so be patient), you will start to use that negative emotion to fuel your growth from the experience.

When we turn past lovers into lessons, we make their role in our lives make sense. Once we do that, we set ourselves, and their memory free. #createthelove

When you lose your fear you gain your life. #createthelove

It is such a beautiful romantic ideal to love all out, isn't it? But yet, most of us don't. We sort of love at 87% while still holding on to the 13% to protect ourselves. We do what's required of us; doing nice things, giving gifts, having sex, raising kids. We cover our bases (sometimes not too).

How often do we actually love to our extremes? To the edge? From what I've seen in others, and have observed in myself, is that we usually get to a point of loving that we're familiar with... a space we've been before, and definitely past... but we don't allow ourselves to go past this point anymore (till we're conscious of it). We love in the comfort zone.

We'll find sneaky ways to limit our love... creating conflict where there is none, questioning our partners and how they're showing up... or even get lost in showing up as a partner, while never leaving room for or partner to show up for us.

We are masters at preventing being hurt. We don't go past this point of 87% because the last time we did, we lost ourselves. The last time we did, we got desecrated.... maybe from romantic love, maybe from childhood.

So, I ask you:
• In what ways do you limit your love?
• Do you pick partners who can't show up for you or are emotionally unavailable?
• Do you take the dominant, leadership role in the relationship... thereby never allowing your partner to be your equal?
• Are you someone who gives, and gives and gives? Always creating a gap in how you love vs how much people can love you?

We have so many tricks to protect the heart... start becoming mindful of yours. Begin to audit yourself and call yourself out on how you build walls. And you, along with me, let's raise our fucking game to 100%. It's time to show up. I'm in, are you? #createthelove

So perfect. 🙌🏽🙏🏻🔥 #createthelove

ARTICLE FOR FATHER'S DAY... CLICK LINK IN BIO TO READ:

For the most part we learn and develop our relationship skills through the modelling and integration of how our parents communicated and loved. For a lot of people that’s an incredibly good thing, and for others, it can be a challenge to unlearn unhealthy behaviours so that they can thrive in their romantic relationships.

The real struggle (and empowered truth) is that relationship skills appear to be hereditary. And what our parents struggle with, likely theirs did as well. It’s not about pointing fingers, being a victim, or blaming them for our faults. I see many behaviours I’ve picked up from observing my parents and/or other mentors. But instead of using these challenges as the reason to stay stuck and blame them for our relationship failures, we can see that this awareness allows us to change the pattern.

My father and I share many deep conversations on love. Unlike the models that most men are taught, my father has always been exceptionally good at peering into my heart. He would ask the right questions to get to the bottom of my fears, and even further, he would allow me the safe and loving space to be who I was and feel everything I was feeling. Regardless of whether it was considered “manly”.

I realize that this is rare. I also recognize that my father is born in an era where these acknowledgments of emotion are few and far between. After another one of our “talks” the other day I asked him, “How is it that in a time when men were not endorsed or promoted to be emotional, you have embodied so many of these essential skills?”...TO CONTINUE READING CLICK LINK IN BIO. Happy Father's Day! #createthelove

Don't give away your life by living in a way that someone else has told you you have to live. Be in charge of your purpose, your spirituality and what you deem to be important. Choose your own life and get to that deathbed with no regrets... Just amazing stories. 🙏🏻✨🙌🏻 #createthelove

Best friends set such an incredible standard... Thank you to all of mine 🙌🏻🙏🏻 Tag your best friends here and show them some love #createthelove

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