We spend far too much time protecting our hearts and not enough time sharing them.
Whenever we lash out, have a tantrum, emotionally withdraw, or run away... We're really just asking for people to love us. We want them to notice our pain. It's not necessarily the argument that's upset us, it's what it reminds us of on a deeper level: That we're not enough, rejection, or that they may leave.
The unfortunate part is that we communicate this need by acting like a child, because those techniques often worked when we were younger.
Look, relationships challenge us because that's where we originally experienced our pain. And for that reason, relationships are where we heal these wounds.
It is absolutely 100% our responsibility as adults to understand our emotions and our emotional response when we're hurting. Because once we do, we can communicate what we actually need.
We must cultivate the skills to learn how to heal past our childhood and show up for our partners today. We need to take a second before we respond, because that second, where we consciously choose our words, changes the course of our lives.
So the next time you go to withdraw, have an outburst, be mean, yell or anything...Get curious. Ask what you're protecting yourself from?
As a child these behaviors often would get what we wanted and needed... Ironically, as adults, they almost ensure we never do... Especially not in a safe and peaceful way. When we learn to share our hearts and ask for what we really need... We begin to actually get it. #createthelove
Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Early Bird Ends Tomorrow!
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ 🙌🏻