createthelove createthelove

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MARK GROVES  Human Connection Specialist. I post no-BS relationship advice. Founder @MOTUsummit #CREATETHELOVE Upcoming eventsπŸ‘‡πŸ»

http://bit.ly/2qoB1Mu

Sometimes forever is just a moment. #createthelove
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Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Yes! Friday for the win. #createthelove

When we commit to do our own personal work for other people it generally doesn't stick... because we're not committing to it for ourselves.
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If you choose to work on yourself in response to your life circumstances or because your partner or someone you love recommended it, amazing.
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But do not do it under the hidden (or not hidden) intention you'll get to keep them because of it. If you do that and you lose them, you'll lose you.
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Find you to keep you. And if you keep them because you found you, then fuccccck yeah. If you lose them and find you, then in the end, you're still winning, big time. #createthelove

It takes courage to keep an open heart when we've been hurt. And even more courage to look at our own role in that pain and how we can show up better in the future for ourselves, and also our partner. #createthelove
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Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Breakfast for the win. 🍳 #createthelove

Remember the power of your words. They can heal or they can hurt... and deciding which ones to use is up to you. And to me it's not good enough to use anger or hurt as a reason to excuse our word choice and to try to hurt others.
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We can choose love and kindness at all times. We can even communicate our pain and disappointment in a way that doesn't tear a hole in another.
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We always have a choice. And true strength and growth is demonstrated when we make that choice in moments when it would be so simple not to. Ironically, those are also the moments where conflict transforms into intimacy, and we learn how to love a little deeper. #createthelove
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Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Early Bird Ends Today!
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

We spend far too much time protecting our hearts and not enough time sharing them.
Whenever we lash out, have a tantrum, emotionally withdraw, or run away... We're really just asking for people to love us. We want them to notice our pain. It's not necessarily the argument that's upset us, it's what it reminds us of on a deeper level: That we're not enough, rejection, or that they may leave.
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The unfortunate part is that we communicate this need by acting like a child, because those techniques often worked when we were younger.
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Look, relationships challenge us because that's where we originally experienced our pain. And for that reason, relationships are where we heal these wounds.
It is absolutely 100% our responsibility as adults to understand our emotions and our emotional response when we're hurting. Because once we do, we can communicate what we actually need.
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We must cultivate the skills to learn how to heal past our childhood and show up for our partners today. We need to take a second before we respond, because that second, where we consciously choose our words, changes the course of our lives.
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So the next time you go to withdraw, have an outburst, be mean, yell or anything...Get curious. Ask what you're protecting yourself from?
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As a child these behaviors often would get what we wanted and needed... Ironically, as adults, they almost ensure we never do... Especially not in a safe and peaceful way. When we learn to share our hearts and ask for what we really need... We begin to actually get it. #createthelove
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Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Early Bird Ends Tomorrow!
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

Great relationships require a lot of challenging conversations. Our relationship is not always puppy dogs and ice cream... (I love both of those things!). Sometimes it's challenging, and often it's scary...because the relationship exists in the space of consistent vulnerability.
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The thing I appreciate most about our love is that it challenges me to grow into it. It asks of me to be open, honest and to have boundaries. It invites my own individuality and creative expansion. It demands that I be me, so Ky can be her, and together we can create something which is separate from ourselves.
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The greatest thing we can do for our lover is cultivate and develop our own sense of self. The rest seems to magically flow because we don't need them in order to love ourselves. We love ourselves first so that we may then love them freely.
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Thanks for being such a creative partner in our growth babe. You invite me to be a better man. I choose to become it. Ever-expanding. #createthelove
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Upcoming Event Info:
Relationships 101 in Chicago!
Click link in my bio for info.
Early Bird Ends Tomorrow!
Use the code "createthelove" to save some $ πŸ™ŒπŸ»

You're a badass. Fact. Now go be one. 🐴 #createthelove

This sculpture by Alexander Milov was at burning man a couple of years ago. This is everything. This is what we all want but struggle so much to communicate.
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We're all just humans wishing we could expose our souls and communicate what we actually want and need... And ironically, not getting our needs met, or even sometimes, getting them met, keeps most of us stuck in a cycle of push and pull. We act out because we were never taught how to ask for, and get love in healthy ways... And sometimes this is because our parents didn't teach us how. But, communicating effectively can be learned.
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To me, it is everyone's own personal work to understand how we communicate and what patterns we have that are, and are not, healthy. It's up to each and everyone of us to explore our emotional worlds and why we do what we do. If you haven't started, begin now. It will allow this child to leap out and finally be free...Whoa the magic that happens when we finally feel heard, understood and loved. βœ¨πŸ™ŒπŸ» Wanna learn how? πŸ‘‡πŸ½
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Relationships 101
CHICAGO EVENT
May 31st
Click link in bio for details.
Use the code "createthelove" to save some moola.
Early Bird Ends Wedsnesday!
#createthelove

This is so true. Understanding and healing our own pain means we don't pass it on to our children. #createthelove

When I was fourteen I got invited to tryout for the provincial soccer team... I never went. When I was nineteen I tried out for the University soccer team, I quit before I could be cut. When I was twenty I told my parents I was going to take a year off school to travel through Europe. I never did. When I was twenty-seven I came back from Barcelona and declared to my family that I wanted to move there and just bartend for a year...To take a break from "normal" life. I never did.
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I never did so many things I wanted to do because they terrified me. I never did them because I was comfortable... not ecstatic about life, but comfortable. Life was easy. I had a great job, wonderful friends, made really great money, owned a house... by all designs I was winning at life.
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I was saying "Yes" to the things that forged my path to what I was "supposed" to do, but I wasn't doing the things that my soul screamed for. I wasn't living, I was existing.
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At the time I didn't know this. I didn't know I wasn't connected to my depths. I probably didn't want to know I had abandoned the little boy who dreamt with wide eyes and saw so much potential in life, and myself.
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And then when I had to answer the question, "What would you do if you could do anything?" My whole fucking soul screamed, "Teach people how to love. Like, really, truly, love." And then I did.
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That call was too great to ignore. And in my first post I finally met the boy, the four year old version of me... who I had abandoned in so many moments and dreams, who whispered to me, "You really can do anything." Fuck. Yes.
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Lean into what scares you. Love deeper. Live fuller. Meet your four year old self and ask them, "What did I forget? What do you want me to know?" And then do that. So much love to you and your massive, explosive heart. You're here to shine. #createthelove πŸ“·: @jaxonhowell

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