Let me start off by saying this will be a long read, I do hope you take the time to read and understand. I'm not looking for sympathy I just want to be real and put everything out there. These pictures or by far not the most impressive. Physically I have lost quite a bit of muscle as well as nowhere near as lean as I used to be, but that's okay. I want to share my story, depression is a very difficult thing to understand and carries many social stigmas against it. I have always carried it with me and just ignored it and figured it would go away, I was wrong. I have been very scare from social media because I have been disappointed in myself for where I have let myself fall too, I let my mind get the best of me. I fell into a very dark place filled with nothing but anger and sadness. I couldn't figure out why this was, I have a job I love, a fantastic supportive family, the greatest girl anyone could ask for and a group of people surround me on a day to day who I consider family as well. I thought I was just being over sensitive and I should just get over it, I was never truly educated on mental health. It continued to get worse and worse, I stopped training and eating my meals and I lost myself completely, this carried on for some time until it got out of control. I ended up becoming suicidal. Thankfully the people around me recognized what was happening and forced me to go to the hospital, unfortunately the hospital kinda brushed it off as though it was nothing. It got worse and worse and I kept refusing to go back to the hospital because they weren't going to take it seriously anyways. Thankfully again I was wrong, the second time I went back they did take it very seriously and helped me get on a treatment plan to get back to being myself. Over the past while I have finally been feeling much better, learning to accept the bad days and focusing on the positives. It's still an ongoing battle however it's one that I can finally believe I will win. The purpose of this is just to let everyone know that you are never alone, you're never the only one who feels this way. These are my new starting pictures, the beginning of my new comeback, physically and mentally.