I'm sharing this to show people that no matter how hard life can be, whether you're depressed, suicidal or just having issues. You can get through it. My experience: I hated myself during 2014, 2015 and 2016 because I was a complete weirdo and had too many issues. Before that and after that, I absolutely love myself. I was an annoying bitch to be honest around those years. The only great moments of those years were vacations, but when I was at home total annoying bitch mode turns on. I was going through a lot.
Issues during that time:
Grandmother passed away.
Anxiety at the 100th power, constant crying, nervous all the time. Always getting sick, acid reflux, constipation and bad stomach pains. Constant embarrassing doctors visits.
Fucking weird plans about marrying Evan O'Donoghue or Colin O'Donoghue. Planning a freakin polygamy marriage with Colin. Going on and off deciding which hook cosplayer I'm going to marry in the future. I was freakin bitchy. I was also suicidal. I even posted something about this Colin thing on my personal Instagram around that time and my parents were freaked out and then I deleted the post obviously and now every time when we do something that means Colin, mom teases me about Colin being my boyfriend and I feel shy talking about him. My face turns red and my anxiety gets horrible. Also since I was constantly getting sick and no medicine or anything would help. My mom thought she was being a bad mother because she thought I was faking it , which I fucking wasn't! And she's an awesome mother, I was just being a bitch. I would constantly get out of social situations even things that we were looking forward too. I basically made everyone disappointed. Anyway I don't do or think like this anymore because it's not who I am.
This is very personal by the way so don't share it anywhere without my permission! I'm just sharing it here to show people that things will get better, don't give up.
At least last year when I got an anxiety medication, I got to be a respectful, compassionate, loving person. I'm going to write positive quotes from now on to inspire people.