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cold_and_salty cold_and_salty

5 posts   348 followers   73 followings

  I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real I wanna let go of the pain Ive felt so long

http://loudwire.com/vote-best-vocalist-of-the-year-2017-loudwire-music-awards/

Chester, if you can read this I just want to say that I absolutely fucking love you. From the bottom of my heart, I love you. Nothing more than that. Saying that "you meant the world to me" or "i loved you" is bullshit, because I still love you just as much. Thank you so much for making my life liveable, and you'll always be my hero. Im really sorry that I could never see the pain underneath your smile, your sorrow underneath your passion, and your fear under your dedication. You have left a mark on me for the better, and you are, and always will be, the most important part of me. To say that you're gone, is fucking bullshit. Because you're always here, in my heart, and you always will be with me, alive and well, till my very last breath.
Love you Chazzy, hope you're at peace ♥

Yesterday was a great day. I got the news that I had been selected for admission in my old school, and I was really happy. I went there, met my friends, and had a great time. It had been a really long time since I was this happy. Then, that night, my friend texts me saying "Hey did chester Bennington die?" At that moment, I laughed, because this isnt the first time I was hearing this. At the same time I was worried, because she said she recieved a notification from a news app. Then, I went on to Google to look up his name. All I saw was this - "Chester Bennington commits suicide at 41"
It was a very strange moment for me. Im reading that my idol, my hero, had killed himself, yet I felt nothing. No sadness, no anger, absolutely nothing. It was like my mind couldn't even process it. I told my best friend about it, he was shocked, but yet I felt nothing. Then after an hour, it just hit me. Chester Charles Bennington, the man who kept me out of pain, whose voice lifted me up when I was on the ground weeping, was no longer with me. I was just, like, I dont even know if I can express how I was feeling in words. Tears flooded from my eyes, I started choking, I couldnt breathe...it felt absolutely horrible, but it was still nothing compared to the feeling hopelessness and darkness. I sat on the floor, rested my back against the bed and squealed in pain. I've just never felt so empty in my life. I had never met Chester, nor seen him live, and neither interacted via social media. I remember watching a video of him with Mercedes and I was like "Damn, look at that determination!" and he was just, gone. It felt like my soul walked out of me, with no notice whatsoever. Just gone. I cried, and cried, the pain didnt reduce a single bit, until I was finally out of energy and I fell asleep. When I woke up, I wished that all that happened yesterday was just bad dream. I reached for my phone, swiping the screen, and it opens onto the same articles. I just realised that it was all over. It felt as if my entire life collapsed on me. I'm pretty much in the worst condition Ive ever been in these 14 years in which I've been alive...Chester, you really didnt have to do this buddy....

This is just the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened. I just cannot think of what Im supposed to say. I still cant believe it. I just cannot believe that this is the same Chester Bennington who was so happy, cheerful and light hearted. I just cant believe that this is the Chester who put up through all of the hardship in his life, to become one of the most successful rock singers of all time. It just doesnt add up to me, how could he do this? Chester and Linkin Park have always been an integral part of my life, they are my life. I just...I really cant think of what to say. This man, was my hero, my inspiration, my everything. I dont think me or the entire fandom will ever recover from this. Its like, one of the most important parts of me has been ripped off...I cant continue this anymore. Chester, thank you for whatever you've done. Thank you for being there for me and upholding me when I was about to give up. You didnt have to do this man.....you really didnt....
Where ever you are, I hope you're at peace.
Goodbye Chester......My life will just never be the same without you....

Goddamnit man I really miss the UK :((((((

Ahhhh finally completed this drawing of you @ryanjterry
Pleaseeeee notice meee @ryanjterry @ryanjterry @ryanjterry

Lol sorry for that. Anyways, I was intending to make this for your birthday which is after a long time but then it seemed illogical since you'd probably be too busy too see it. So yea heres this little sketch I made of you! Im not that good at drawing so it took quite alot of time (2 weeks infact lol). Also, I wanted to thank you too Ryan. You're such an amazing person, and without a doubt the best athlete there is. You've always motivated me and inspired me to be the best I possibly can, and that has helped along way, from being skinny fat to what I currently am. If it werent for you, I'd still look miserable, be depressed and unsatisfied with myself. So thank you so much for that. I really wish I could meet you someday!! So anyways, sorry if this was too big of a message, just wanted to let ya know how much of an impact you've made on me, and that one of the biggest reasons why Im happy with myself now, is you, and that I'll keep pushing and improving myself everyday, just to become like you someday. As you said, we all gotta have a dream, no doubt, but alongside that we also need a role model, a mentor, someone to look up to keep us focused, motivated and determined to walk on the path to our dreams, and thank you so much for being that person Ryan. Wish I could tell you this in person, but sadly I dont think I'll be able to meet you.. but yea I guess thats pretty much it. Hope you like the drawing @ryanjterry, and all the very best for the Olympia this year!! (You're gonna win it, we all know that)

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