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cmeadoww cmeadoww

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caitlin 🌿 meadow  || wife || mountain dweller || doula || homesteading after wildfire || come say hello @doulaofthesierra ||

http://lonepinehill.wordpress.com/

this is where i'm from.

we've been gathering old pictures lately. evidence of what was in hopes of affording what is to come. it struck me that although many moments in time feel like a lifetime ago, i can still remember just how i felt taking this photograph. #magic

when a dear friend captures you and it makes you feel known. holding babies, taking pictures, celebrating with good people. happy birthday, cohen!! thank you @cohens_fan_club for such a sweet gathering and @c.buis for letting me snuggle your koda. it's one of the great joys of my life watching my friends as mothers.

two whole years and growing tired of this holding pattern. here's to big changes before year three and doing it all with you.

thirty five. that means you've been in my world for almost a decade now. i don't entirely remember the person i was before. mostly, i think, because you've loved me into someone i like a whole helluva a lot better. i often tease you that you were born an old man, stuck in his ways and happy to be at home, but you are never stagnant. it's been a joy to see you find your legs (and finally get some recognition) in your career, set and accomplish goals in your education, tirelessly do your best to care for our family and open yourself up to new adventures. thanks for being in my corner. for supporting my every whim and fancy...and making the effort to learn how to bring me back to earth gently. thank you for your sure and steady heart. for trusting me with it and making me laugh. thank you for comforting me when i can't see the light. thank you for the things you do every. single. day. to make life here "normal" and never failing to tell me that you're just glad we're doing it together. life wouldn't...couldn't be as sweet without you. i look forward to finding more gray hairs and watching your perfect, crinkly-eyed, smile lines multiply. here's to thirty five and making more lighthearted memories before thirty six. happy birthday, jacky boy. you're my favorite forever. p.s. i love you. p.p.s you're a mega babe.

manzanita and husband cut wood rounds. having some fun testing out centerpieces for my cousin's wedding this weekend. can't wait to see it come together with all the other details she's chosen!

my ever talented little brother was chosen amongst 150 young artists out of over 1,500 to appear in z publishing house's book "california's best emerging poets: an anthology." it's now available on amazon in paperback and kindle versions! it is a beautiful collection and we are so proud ty was included. if you head on over and purchase a copy please be sure to leave a review mentioning "you're not there" by luke tygar mccarthy. the top five poets whose names and poems are mentioned in the reviews by september 6th will be published in another book due out next year. let's help him out! thank you in advance for all the love and support, he deserves it more than just about anyone i know. 🌿

#poetry #california #mytuolumnecounty

103 at 7 pm...you play dumb as your husband approaches, with a watering can and a smirk, saying he's found "a pretty flower on the property that needs to be watered." #tiredeyeslightheart

fire sunsets and the ever constant moon.

we. are not. rebuilding. weird. that's the first time i've seen it in writing. just three weeks ago we opened a letter that turned everything on its head...again. we sat across from each other at this little table in the trailer like we have countless times in what has now amounted to nearly two years. we sighed, wide eyed, and tentatively tried out new scenarios until we were saying the same thing. you poured us each a glass of wine and cleared laundry baskets from the couch. i haven't cried that much in some time. you know the kind. like being wrung out. the weight of all you've lost parked square on your chest. but together we decided it was okay to let go. okay to move on. okay to stop fighting something that won't budge and find peace on another path. for now it's more waiting and begging ourselves to remember the details of our last summer here.

it's fun watching people you love doing something they love. proud of these babes for getting back on the board together this summer.
#summernights #skateboarding #jackandjoeforever

august. our sweet and sour summer bodies stacked on top of bedsheets begging for a breeze to pass over exposed flesh. the garden is, for the first time, failing to thrive and sometimes it feels like we are too. stagnation, i suppose, can be common to both plants and people. lately we've falling asleep to slow music while i run lavender fingers across your chest in the dark. out my small window i can just make out the silhouettes of leafless, bony oaks and i try to be still while your breathing changes.
#summer #slowgrowth #california

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