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Child Mind Institute  Dedicated to transforming children's lives.

Call them fibs, whoppers or straight-up untruths: However you label them, kids are likely to lie somewhere along the way. While a younger child may conjure up an elaborate tale about how she couldn’t possibly have kicked a younger sibling, older kids may flat-out lie about doing their homework.

Sometimes the onset of lying is sudden and intense, reports Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “It’s a new thing where they were pretty truthful most of the time before and then suddenly they’re lying about a lot of stuff,” he says. This, of course, is concerning to parents. But if caregivers can understand why kids lie and be prepared to deal with the issue, the truth can come out.

To help your kids avoid lying in the first place, let them know that truth reduces consequences
For instance, if teens have been drinking at a party, the parent will want them to call to be picked up. But kids know there also has to be a consequence for the drinking. “There’s a hard balance to strike between having the open dialogue but also setting appropriate limits when necessary,” Dr. Rouse says.

In this situation, where lying would have been easier, when parents are doling out the consequence they can also praise the child for telling the truth and tell them it makes them more trustworthy. They might also reduce the consequence, such as letting kids know they’re taking their phone away for a day instead of a week.

Dr. Rouse adds one caveat: Children and teens should not think consequences are negotiable. “Sometimes the kid will say, ‘But I told you the truth,’” he says. “They’ll get manipulative, saying, ‘This is just making me want to never tell the truth again.’” Parents shouldn’t give in at that point.

What parents shouldn’t do is corner your child.
Putting a child on the spot can set him up to lie and don’t label your child a liar The wound it creates is bigger than dealing with what he lied about in the first place. He thinks, “Mom won’t believe me.” It makes him feel bad about himself and may set up a pattern of lying.

Read more at childmind.org

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We hope you are having a festive day.

A recent study that found the mere presence of a smartphone reduces a person’s ability to focus. In the study, undergraduates asked to leave their phones in another room did better on cognitive tests than those who were asked to silence their phones and leave them face down on their desk or in a bag.

In the experiment, even students who said they weren’t thinking consciously about their cell phones still experienced a loss in ability, which means some of this distraction is happening on an unconscious level. This is bad news for those of us who think we’re pretty good at not being distracted by the phone when we’re working.

Setting up a homework routine that minimizes distractions is important, especially if your child struggles with attention, or seems to be finding that her homework is taking much longer than it should.

Let her know that the goal is to make doing homework easier and less stressful. Removing those distractions should improve her homework experience and leave her with more actual free time.

If it’s difficult to get your child’s buy-in, establishing regular homework breaks where she gets to walk away from her homework and check social media or check her texts can make this an easier sell. But to be effective, the breaks should be planned and discrete — they shouldn’t bleed into homework time and ideally they should happen away from her study space, which should be a place for focusing.

This sort of discipline might not come naturally to kids or adults, but learning to unplug from distractions is a life skill that will become increasingly important as technology becomes more absorbing, and the need to learn and stay focused doesn’t go away.

Adolescence can be a difficult time for fathers and daughters. As little girls grow into young women, it can be hard for dads to figure where, and how, they fit in.

It’s an important transition for both parents, but one that can be especially challenging for dads, who often get the message that their primary role is to be “in charge” — to fix problems when they arise, and to protect their daughters, especially once dating becomes part of the mix.

We’ve put together 10 tips to help dads and daughters navigate the inevitable changes that come with adolescence and stay close during a transitional — and often tumultuous — time.

1. Be a good listener
2. Discuss — don’t just dictate — rules
3. Be generous with praise
4. Let her take the lead when it comes to quality time
5. Be an ally
6. Model healthy relationships
7. Watch your language
8. Take care with tough topics
9. Show your love
10. Focus on what’s really important

Read the full article at childmind.org - Search "Dads and Daughters"

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@jameelajamilofficial

Contrary to some popular beliefs there isn't conclusive evidence that social media use causes depression, however we do have plenty of warning signs that it may be affecting our kids negatively. So it’s smart for parents to check in regularly with kids about their social media use, to make sure it’s positive and healthy, and guide them towards ways to change it, if you think it’s not.

Here are some steps you can take to insure healthy social media use: -Focus on balance: Make sure your kids are also engaging in social interaction offline, and have time for activities that help build identity and self-confidence.
-Turn off notifications: App developers are getting more and more aggressive with notifications to lure users to interrupt whatever they’re doing to engage constantly with their phones. Don’t let them.
-Look out for girls at higher risk of depression: Monitor girls who are going through a particularly tough time or are under unusual stress. Negative effects of social media can have more impact when confidence is down.
-Teach mindful use of social media: Encourage teenagers to be honest with themselves about how time spent on social media makes them feel, and disengage from interactions that increase stress or unhappiness.
-Model restraint and balance in your own media diet: Set an example by disengaging from media to spend quality family time together, including phone-free dinners and other activities. Kids may resist, but they’ll feel the benefits.
-Phone-free time before sleep: Enforce a policy of no smartphones in the bedroom after a specific time and overnight. Use an old-fashioned alarm clock to wake up.

A story we hear regularly is a child is diagnosed with ADHD and one of his parents, recognizing the symptoms, realizes that he or she has the disorder, too.
Moms and dads with undiagnosed ADHD often find themselves overwhelmed by the demands of parenting and struggling to meet their children’s needs. Lacking organizational skills, they may find keeping up with their kids’ schedules and managing their behavior very stressful. But in the case of moms, they are more likely to be treated for depression than ADHD.

This oversight is unfortunate, because treating the ADHD that’s underlying their problems would benefit both them and their children.

For a parent who has ADHD, getting a diagnosis itself can help reduce guilt and alleviate stress. With a diagnosis, rather than blaming themselves and thinking that it’s a moral failing, they understand they have this genetic disorder, like their child does.”
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Search "ADHD" on childmind.org for more.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Child Mind Institute 💚

Toddlers who cling to mom as she’s leaving for work or wail when they’re handed to the babysitter are fairly common. Though their anguish troubles us, we know most of them will grow out of their fear and anxiety of separating from parents as they get older and more confident about their own powers.
But for some children the anxiety persists into the school years, and becomes more rather than less pervasive. These kids have developed separation anxiety disorder, and their worries about being apart tend to mushroom far beyond the moment of separation. When kids with separation anxiety are away from caregivers they can develop extreme fears that sound melodramatic to the rest of us, but are very real to them.

For example, a child with separation anxiety might have a hard time concentrating in class because she might be afraid her father is going to have a car accident. She might be worried that her family will get hurt, or she will get hurt, or even that she might be abandoned. If a parent is five minutes late to picking her up from soccer practice, she might assume the family has left town without her.

Read more by searching "separation anxiety" at childmind.org

It’s time for one of our dearest friends to make his annual debut! The @Bloomingdales Little Brown Bear is back again, and this year he is bear-y cuddly! Find him in stores or online, and $7.50 from each purchase will go to the Child Mind Institute to give children the gift of better mental health.

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​It’s time for one of our dearest friends to make his annual debut! The @Bloomingdales Little Brown Bear is back again, and this year he is bear-y cuddly!
Find him in stores or online, and $7.50 from each purchase will go to the Child Mind Institute to give children the gift of better #mentalhealth.

Link in profile

#bloomingdales #bloomiesbear #mentalhealthawareness

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