cherylfyoga cherylfyoga

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Cheryl F. •Yoga Explorer  ||Yoga Teacher • Explorer • Advocate • Content Creator|| #headhighheartforward ❤ #bendyyogis ✨CHERYLD126YOGA@GMAIL.COM✨

In the last 14 years since I left home for college, I've moved an average of once every year a half. Between switching apartments when my leases were up, switching states for school or internships, and switching coasts for jobs, love, and then back after that love failed, I've spent a lot of time in only a semi-settled in state. I've also lived in places where you walk outside to be surrounded by lush natural beauty, and places where you walk outside and smell urine, step in stray cat poo, and have to drive miles just to see grass. The biggest thing I've realized in living everywhere from very rural Appalachia, to frigid New England, to extremely hot and bustling Hollywood, is that it doesn't take much to find my happy place. Just like you can take a pretty yoga picture in front of a gray and cloudy sky, transforming a meh day into something artful, you can find your happy place in any location, no matter the landscape.
Your happy place is your state of mind. I turn inward to find and create beauty so that I can view the outside world the same way. Granted, it is easier for me to be happy when I'm in nature, and I go to nature to set myself ease. But sometimes that isn't possible, and it hasn't always been an option for me. However, no matter where I live, or how hard it is to find what is considered traditional beauty in the landscape of my location, I can find my happy place by reflecting inside first. #headhighheartforward
📸 @sfreneenyc

The older I get, the more complicated relationships become. Being an adult is not easy, and like life, our relationships with people become more serious as we age. Our friendships have levels beyond being the same age and in the same school. We develop expectations for those in our life and serious feelings. We learn to care and love selflessly, and when your give yourself to someone, as a friend, a partner, a spouse, it makes the relationship that much more intense. What I'm learning is that no matter how much you care, you can't let your expectations dictate your relationships. You could spend months talking to a guy you think you want to date and discover he's been putting on airs to get your attention. You could spend years in a close friendship with someone, and then realize they've been talking about you behind your back. It hurts, when you give yourself to someone in any capacity and they don't reciprocate with the same earnestness....but you can't let that stop you. In the end, what really matters is the kind of person you are. I choose to be the kind of person that doesn't let my bad experiences keep me from loving. I choose to be the sort of person who values herself highly enough to let go of those that don't meet my authenticity. It hurts to say goodbye to someone you thought was one thing, when they turn out to be something else. But you should never let the actions of others take away your happiness. Be strong and carry on. Your light is yours to burn bright, don't let anyone else dim your glow.
Wearing @aloyoga #aloyoga #beagoddess
Lens skills: @bentleycreativeagency

How yogis take driving breaks when all the rest stop benches are occupied. Aka Cheryl and Cailey can't be in the car anymore. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️
We will be arriving in Denver today. Thanks to all of you following along with my stories and sending me messages! I'm responding whenever I'm not driving if anyone else has any questions or suggestions of places to see while I'm driving cross country.
Outfitted by @terez (me, not the pup 😉)

I've always wanted to do a yoga pose on a deserted street in NYC and on/or near the Brooklyn Bridge. Thank you @hollybentley_yoga and @bentleycreativeagency for helping me check two things off my NY-to do list before I left!
Both wearing @aloyoga #aloyoga #beagoddess

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"We loved each other the best we could and it wasn't good enough. The kind of love we had for each other was poisonous to us both. No matter how much we wanted to lift each other up, we spent more time hurling insults than giving hugs. Both of us became people we didn't recognize and both of us continued to spiral into a toxic pattern we couldn't break. That was why we finally had to let each other go. It wasn't because we didn't love each other enough," she said. "It was because the love we had for each other wasn't healthy for either of us. We had to step away so that we could become ourselves again. We had to say goodbye so that we begin to heal."
She looked away from me so that I couldn't see the sadness wash over her body. I could feel it though; the magnitude of her decisions and choices these past few months, as well as the regrets she had for her behavior were almost visible. I let her take her time, but she didn't need much.
"Making the right choice doesn't make the choice any easier," she concluded. "The hurt and anger and sadness are still there. I still love him and want with every ounce of my soul for things to be different. I question why I couldn't be the person I wanted to be when I was with him, and I question if circumstances were different, whether things would have worked. But our minds will do that and the only solace I have at this moment is being experienced enough with love to know that all this hurt will soften in time. But I guess currently, it is what it is. I will feel this hurt and regret for all that it is and try to learn from it going forward. And I will continue to love him, but know that we can't be together for both of our well being." She shrugged and smiled in a semi-sardonic manner, as she said with just an inkling of hope, "Maybe one day we will be able to love each other as friends. Maybe that can be enough."
Goodbye New Jersey.

Why is it negative to talk about the hard things in life? Why is there so much fear and shame and embarrassment surrounding opening up about our struggles? Shouldn't we talk about the hard things the most? Rather than bottling them up and locking them deep down where they can churn and fester, poisoning our insides, try opening up a bit, even if it's just in a personal journal. These things you keep locked away affect your body and mind in ways you may not recognize. Because once it's there, it can spread and affect everything you touch. #foodforthought #headhighheartforward #ispeakfromexperience
Wearing all @aloyoga
Photo cred @sunkissedyogi

"Reflect upon your present blessings - of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." -Dickens
#headhighheartforward in @kosusaofficial

A letter to my sister,
I know it wasn't easy growing up with me as an older sister. I pushed myself really hard in school and all my extracurriculars and that set expectations that you would have to meet with all of our shared teachers and coaches. When that became apparent, instead of supporting each other we competed. I didn't view you as someone I could guide and teach, I viewed you as a rival for attention and accolades. For that I am sorry. I should have supported and uplifted you instead of trying to upstage you.
As I got older and started having problems, I know I took attention away from you. I have never acknowledged the hurt that I caused you through my actions when I was struggling with my eating disorder. I was embarrassed and ashamed, both at my personal behaviors and the lack of control I had over my mind. My worldview was warped as well as my perception of people's body types, and because of your small size I projected a lot of my insecurities onto you.
I know a lot of our parents' attention was taken away from you because I was struggling so much. While I can't give you that time back, I can acknowledge the hurt that I caused. Hurt that I only amplified when I became an addict shortly after.
I'm sorry for lying to you and being angry with you because I was really angry with myself. I'm sorry for hiding things and I'm sorry for hurting and making you fear for my well being. I want you to know that even though we've never talked about these things, I have thought about them often.
I can't change the past, but I can apologize for the hurt that I caused you, whether or not I saw it as intentional at the time. I can finally tell my pride and ego to take a hike and acknowledge that I left a lot of hurt in the wake of my own struggles. And even more than that, I can thank you for always being there for me no matter what I was going through or how it was affecting you. I don't think I've ever told you that. I know I've never told you how much I admire your ability to handle such hard situations at such a young age. I love you.
blue and white in @aloyoga
📸 @bentleycreativeagency

For a long time, I did not let my picture get taken. I didn't like my smile, I hated my mid section, and my bum was far too big for my tiny (as in short) frame; at least that's what I convinced myself. I struggled with eating disorders for a large part of my life, dipping well below 80 pounds at the same height I was now, and still seeing someone much larger than the girl in this photo. Even now I have a morphed view of myself sometimes, but I can acknowledge it for what it is: made up by the darkness in my mind.
Honestly, until the last couple of years, I've felt jealousy towards people who feel so comfortable bearing their bodies online because I wasn't comfortable doing the same. I projected my own insecurities onto others instead of celebrating the fact that they were embracing who they were. I admit that was wrong, and won't defend it. I will only explain it was my initial reaction because I was coming from a place of negativity and self loathing which distorted my world view. Now I try to come from a place of self acceptance towards myself, and when I can't self accept, I show myself compassion. That translates into how I perceive and interact with others. It's true that where you are in your life in regards to how you feel about yourself can and will affect how you take in the rest of the world around you. So.....
When you look at this picture what do you see? Do you see a girl laughing because she's getting water up her nose n her sore bum from sliding on rocks? Do you see a beautiful place in a foreign country? Maybe you see someone fit or a little soft in certain areas. Maybe you see a girl finding an excuse to flash her bum, or someone who "needs" a tan. For some, you will see a girl finally embracing the skin she's in. And for me, it doesn't matter how each individual visually perceive me because everyone will do it differently. The subject of this photo will differ depending on person, but the message I will give you is the same across the board. We should support those who are brave enough to share any part of themselves online-physical or mental. All we see is the picture, not the work it took to get there. #headhighheartforward

Did I tell you guys I got to meet up with @hollybentley_yoga in NYC this past weekend? I love Instagram for its ability to bring people together. And also on an unrelated note, have I told you how hard it is to do king pigeon when you're holding someone else's foot? Lol.
Had a great time playing with you, Holly. If we see each other again, hopefully it won't be so hot! #sweatyyogis
Both wearing @aloyoga
Lens: @bentleycreativeagency

I get asked a lot of questions from things about my work as an attorney to why I advocate for mental illness awareness. I thought I would take a minute to answer the ones I get asked most often. 👍🏻🙂
1) I have been doing yoga poses for 5 years, and practicing actual yoga for 3.
2) I can't really say where I'm from. I was born in NJ, raised in KY, went to college in GA, and law school in VT. Then I moved to CA then to NJ and soon back to CA.
3) So yeah, I was a lawyer. Haha. I actually moved to CA for a legal job I got laid off from a few months later. I took that as a sign to pursue teaching yoga full time and starting my own business.
4) the reason I advocate for mental illness awareness: I have major depressive disorder, OCD, anxiety, narcolepsy, and BPD.
5) I struggle(d) with eating disorders and body image issues for years.
6) I was (am) an addict. No I did not go to rehab. Yes, I was using hard drugs for several years. I have been sober for a decade. I do smoke 💨 🍁 and socially drink.
7) I am currently single, but not looking. Sorry.
8) I am 31. Born in early December.
9) I have a dog and a cat. My cat is with my parents currently and my dog is with me. Her name is Cailey, she is 7 and a rescue. I think she's a black lab/golden retriever mix.
10) I have a younger sister who is more of an adult than me. Lol. At least traditionally. She is married with two kids and buying a house. It makes me feel old. Ha.
11) The style of yoga I prefer to teach and practice is Hatha.
12) my hair color is currently purple with blue underneath.
13) my favorite color is golden yellow.
14) My favorite place I ever lived was southern Vermont.
15) I do not regret walking away from a daily legal practice. Yes the broke but happy life is stressful sometimes, but most of the time it's pretty great.
16) I really do spend most of my time outside. The mosquito bites on my legs are proof. 😂🤦🏻‍♀️
17) I am not teaching in any yoga studios right now, but do teach privates via skype. 😉
I hope I answered everyone's questions! I'd love to hear more about you below!

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