When I was younger I surrounded myself with friends. I always needed to be with someone or to have plans with others. I kept searching for validation from people thinking that being popular amongst others would make me feel special and loved.
During this time I didn't love myself. I was deep in self loathing and didn't respect myself or care what happened to me I was self destructive and because of that, I attracted the wrong types of people. I attracted "friends" who wanted to use me. Guys who just wanted to get down my pants, girls who used me to get to my guy friends, girls who kept me around to have someone to make fun of behind closed doors, etc. I've had my heart broken harder by more groups of mean girls than men over the years.
Looking back, over a decade since high school, and closing in on ten years since college, most people think I'm a loner. I spend a lot of time with myself, and have only a select few, carefully chosen friends. And it's not because I was hurt or teased or lied to by friends in the past. It's because now that I love myself, now that I know my self worth, I don't need validation in numbers. I don't need lots of people around me to make me feel secure. I don't need to create an allusion of acceptance amongst people who don't care for in order to feel at ease with myself.
If you find yourself constantly being hurt and let down by those closest to you, remember that you attract what you think you deserve. When you start valuing yourself, you'll find yourself attracting people who value you, too.
Cheers to my three besties. I might not have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻. Tag a true friend and show them some love!
#headhighheartforward #throwback to my last day playing with @justinyoga in LA. Miss you.