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Although More is Known about the Date of his Crucifixion than his Date of Birth, Jesus Enjoys Looking down at the Love and Celebration on the Calendrically Engineered Date now Known as Christmas

In 1621, in a State of Peace Driven by Trade and Tribal Rivalries, the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Gather to Enjoy a Routine English Harvest Celebration

At a Major League Baseball Game, an Unsuspecting Catcher Holds his Hat at his Chest During The Star Spangled Banner, However the Celebrity Honored with Throwing the First Pitch is Unfamiliar with American Culture and Releases the Ball at "the Dawn's Early Light"

During a Seemingly Passionate Session of Licking his Anus and Inner Hind Leg Region, this Cat is Distracted by a Large Ball of Yarn and Proceeds to Roll around on the Floor with it, Claiming Ownership by Rubbing it Against his Cheek and Pawing at it while Alternating between Sideways and Inverted Body Positions

At a Large Outdoor Rally, Christian Evangelist Billy Graham Reads from The Bible Held in his Left Hand while Helping to Empower the Doctrine with an Extended Right Arm and Firmly Clenched Fist

While a Soccer Ball is Used as a Prop on a Sesame Street Segment Designed to Teach Children About the Shape of a Sphere, it is Violently Kicked by Elmo after he Learns that Big Bird will not Satisfy his Ambiguously Sexual Request to be Tickled

This Deranged Couple Retired to their Tent to Have Missionary Sex in a Sleeping Bag after being Aroused by the Telling of Ghost Stories by the Campfire, Just Moments Earlier

After Using his Left Hand to Vigorously Scratch a Rectal Itch Caused by Poor Hygiene, this Thin Inner City Vagrant at a Bus Station, Wearing a Tall Knitted Beanie is Overcome by Curiosity and Consequently Smells the Underside of his Fingernails, an Unfortunate Form of Entertainment to which he has Grown Accustomed

With the Intent of Impressing a Potential Mate, this Monkey Finds a Banana - Unaware that his Excitement and Brandishing of the Fruit Puts them at Risk of Predation by the Less Fortunate

Propelled at a Rate of 2mm per Minute by the Aggressive Flagellating of its Tail, this Sperm Cell Proudly Carries 23 Unpaired Chromosomes on a Post-Coitus Journey to a Lucky Ovum, to Pass on the Traits of Height and Intelligence - Possessed by the Owner of the Gonads from which it was Produced

As Mary Places her Hand on her son's Head, she is Comforted by Joseph's Hand on her Shoulder, while Three Late-Arrived Wise Men Line up to Kneel down and Present their Gifts