c.e.r.u.l.e.a.n c.e.r.u.l.e.a.n

10 posts   11 followers   27 followings

  ce·ru·le·an (sə-ro̅o̅′lē-ən) adj. Azure; sky-blue.

•hello there•
I'm sorry that I haven't been on in a while. There's no actual excuse just pure laziness. I've been getting a lot of anxiety attacks to the point where my parents think I'm faking it. It sucks but what am I going to do about it? -
I hope you are all doing well -R

•two exams down, five more to go•
I've been really upset and agitated lately, I'm not sure why either. On Friday I have a banquet, I admit that I'm really nervous for it. All my friends are wearing beautiful dresses and will look stunning and I can't help but to feel self conscious and insure. I just want this school year to end. Love -R

• sorry for being inactive •
This website is entirely made up of suicidal teenagers telling each other to stop hating themselves when they don't know how to love their own self. I can comfortably say that I have many flaws and I don't love my self completely, but I don't hate myself either. Have a pleasant day love, -R

Recently there's been someone who has been snapping on me. One second their fine with me and the next their angry, they used to do this more often and I let it go but today it really made me pissed off. Their also friends with my close friend who happens to be super pretty and skinny. He asks her how she is everyday, talks to her and is pleasant with her. While he treats me like complete shit. Sure I joke around but he gets nasty with me but I haven't done anything wrong. I don't understand what motivates people to do the things they do. -R

•today was a long day•
I was just recently informed of the death of my close friends relative. Death is something I'm not closely associated with in person so I'm not entirely sure how to empathize with them and comfort them. •
Today the topic I'd like to speak about is the large quantity of people self harming. Recently I came across a post saying "people who self harm are the strongest people i know." How could people who hurt themselves be considered strong? Sure in some cases they've been through a lot but that doesn't mean their courageous or some type of hero. I'm not saying that their weak, I'm saying that their normally the people who are so broken down on the inside that they have no where else to turn to. They don't know what to do with themselves and are so indulged In self hatred that the days they spent happy turn into fragments that are barely visible. The definition for 'strong' is: mentally powerful or vigorous. Ponder on that for a while. •
(I don't promote self harm or self hatred, also this is all opinion based and I apologize if your feelings were hurt)

-love R

•follow @_drowningteens_ their pretty chill•

•woah two post in one day•
Surprisingly I have never considered suicide an option, when ever the thought of death rarely enters my mind I'm too consumed by fear. The fear of oblivion, not knowing what will happen after I die. Where I go, or what I will do. This topic seems to trouble my mind a lot, but in the end its just the way life is. Just because I'm depressed, and lonely doesn't mean I want to die. I can admit I fear a lot of things. But hopefully I can one day get over those, and so can you. I have a lovely night. -R

•wow I'm sorry I haven't updated my phone how embarrassing• -
Go follow @2rad4you_ as you can see by their username they are hella rad.

Elephants are pretty cool I guess. I feel so conflicted on the inside, like I'm being buried and the people above me just won't hear my screams. Don't get me wrong I'm not those kind of people who constantly need attention, but when you think about it it's only human nature for someone let it be young or old to crave human contact, or to be recognized. I don't think wanting attention is a bad thing necessarily but when it comes to the point when you're asking for it all the time, sure it's annoying. I hope you've had a lovely day and discover something new. -R

I suppose this is my first post. You can call me Rhyme or R short, I guess it's a silly name but I just made it up. I like punk rock bands but they're not the only things listen to. I try to pretend to be a pretty chill person, and confidence is something I lack but I'm good at faking. I'm not entirely sure what this account will be about but hopefully something good will come out of it. Im currently dealing with what
I think is depression and a terrible case of loneliness. By the way I don't have an appendix so I hope that doesn't ruin out chances in being friends. Have not only a wonderful day but hope to discover something new -R

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