"Stop. Just stop telling me how to handle this. Stop telling me to be proud. .
You don’t understand. You think it’s not a choice, that we’re all born this way. I’m here to tell you I don't think I was born this way. I made choices that perpetuated feelings that are counter to the way of life I’ve envisioned for myself. I feel that modesty is something we don’t value enough in society and it's a habit I'm learning later in life. Unluckily for me, my choices have landed me in a mental battle zone. .
Yet you don’t realize the hypocrisy of how you see my battle, my struggle. “Be queer, be proud! Don’t fight it!” You want me to surrender to your standards and strict parameters - self-acceptance. But when I say, “I can fight this. I can control this. I can struggle for the sake of God,” you see me as backwards, as self-oppressive, as stupid for choosing a different set of strict parameters to live in - religion. .
For me, religion and self-acceptance don’t go hand in hand. We don’t just accept all of the inclinations of the self in religion. We strive to be better based on how God has told us to be. God has instructed me to marry someone of the opposite gender, and I plan on fulfilling that requirement. - “But, if you’re not straight, isn’t that kind of messed up? Aren’t you just being a fraud?” .
Ok, first off, no one is straight. Even if you think you are, you probably aren’t. I hope I’m not challenging your fragile heterosexuality. The odds of being entirely heterosexual are so small compared to being attracted at any point in any situation to someone of your same gender or sex. I love it when straight males say things like, “Lol it’s cool I’m comfortable with my sexuality.” Yes. You are. That’s the point. That’s called heteronormativity. .
Secondly, why do we even attempt to create these categories and labels for people? Straight? Nah. Gay? Nope. Bisexual? Not really. Queer? Ok sure I’ll take the most nondescript label if need be. But the point is, we don’t think it’s oppressive to coax people out of the closet into this lifelong sentence of picking a not-“straight” label.
[Continued in comments]