brodiesianart brodiesianart

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BRODIE SIÁN TABERNER  📸//🎥 @mafashionphotography | @lcflondon_ DM for work/collaborations 🥀 Website under construction

It's world mental health day apparently. I say apparently because as a person who suffers with mental health issues I still feel like we have such an incredibly long way to go until we reach a point where it's not a problem.
Today is a struggle. Just like every other day. But unlike every other day, today marks a point in which I allow myself to be honest and open about one of the aspects of my own mental health.
The two key emotions that make me suffer greatly are grief and guilt. Both side by side. To the few people I e already spoken to, honestly, about this, thank you for listening and giving me the strength to actually make this public. .
25/05/2014 - The day I lost my grandma to an illness called metastatic lung carcinoma. In a more simpler word, cancer. Grief hits everyone and it hits everyone differently. I've a lost a lot of important people in my life but this loss has and still to this day fucks me up. I haven't been able to grieve properly because of this underlying feeling of guilt I have towards her death. Now of course, like the many other people I have been honest with, you may say, well Brodie, you're not the creator of cancer. You didn't cause her illness. That I agree with. But I had an opportunity. A window in which I had a chance to say my peace, say goodbye whilst she was still alive. I visited her in the Prince of Wales hospice in Pontefract and I didn't recognize her. The vision I had of her was completely manipulated by the cancer that had taken over her body and mind. It was devestating. I couldn't bring myself to go in the room, sit by her bed and wish her well and tell her that I'd see her tomorrow. I couldn't face going back. That night, after I left, she died. It hurts so much to write that. I'm shaking, my eyes are blurred from the tears. I'm in absolute pain. I loved this women with every part of my heart and soul and I blame myself for her death because I didn't say goodbye.
(...Continued in comments...)
[Credits: model/Mua/wardrobe stylist: @necropheliac - thank you for helping me create this work ♥️]
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#worldmentalhealthday #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthart #lcfma19

"The Show Must Go On!" - Directed by Brodie Sián Taberner
@missleighsboudoir // @fontainesldn 🌴🍹 The lighting in this place gave me so many cinematic feels. I was in love! Thank you to everyone involved ♥️
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#fontainesbar #cinematic #photocinematica #ambientlighting #showgirl #vintageclothing #pinup #cinematographer #badasswomen #fashionphotography #femmefatale #londonphotographer #mafashionphotography #londoncollegeoffashion #portrait_vision #portraitpage #theportraitpr0ject #portrait_pros #pinupsofcolor

So, I'm presenting my work tomorrow and I'm extremely nervous about it. This work I'm showing is incredibly personal to me. It is the most honest work I have ever made about a subject I rarely talk about because it's one of my biggest triggers for depressive episodes. These last few weeks since creating the work I've felt such a release, a big weight lifted off my shoulders and I finally see a chance for me to start healing. This work may not be everyone's cup of tea but my god it's fucking powerful and it stands for every single moment of pain that I have felt, the battle of grief and guilt... I'm sick of seeing people sugarcoat work based around mental health. Curving around the subject. Not making it real!
Tomorrow is a big day. It is the first time I have spoken publicly to people that haven't been my mum, boyfriend and of course my best friend who modelled in these works and with that I want to say a huge thank you to @necropheliac for not only being a constant inspiration but for being a supportive friend and allowing me this chance to explore a topic, a life experience that I never thought I would turn into a piece of art. Thank you for always having an open mind and completely understanding. I genuinely love you with all my heart ♥️ Model/MUA: @necropheliac published in @femmerebellemagazine .
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #portrait_vision #portraitpage #alternative #asianmodel #altmodel #badasswomen #girlswithtattoos #empoweredwomen #fashionphotography

I'm super blessed for all the opportunities I've been given this month. I've met some new and amazing people, reconnected with old friends, been super productive with my work and I'm just in a happier state of mind. Thank you to everyone that has shown me kindness recently and helped keep my demons at bay.
Model: @annacharlesss // @bamemodels .
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#bamemodels #redaesthetic #empoweredwomen #badasswomen #fashionphotographer #testshoot #streetphotography #fashionportrait #portraitpage #theportraitpr0ject

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