I don’t make new year resolutions, but I am committed to being the very best version of myself + with that in mind, I am going into 2018 shaking the fear that I will somehow lose myself in becoming a mother.
Instead, I will embrace the truth that the woman I was, is gone. She had to go. She wasn’t capable of the tasks at hand. A new version of me has emerged, to rise to the occasion + I’m certain she is magic in her own right. I’ve been mourning the old me + rightfully so, she was the shit! Good thing I have a ton of pictures to remember her + to show my daughter that you can have all things in life, just not at once. Now, it is time to be unafraid of who I am becoming.
Will I be able to spend Sunday mornings in bed looking at old pictures + soaking up the journey, like before? Yes, of course! Maybe not as long as before, but let’s be honest 2pm was excessive AF! Will I be able to get up + see the world, like before. Yes, of course! Maybe not as easily + as quick, especially right now, but it’s possible + possibly even better (who knows! she could travel well, right!😒😬😂) now that I get to share that world with my daughter. Will I be able to make last minute plans, throw on clothes + meet the girls for brunch on a random Saturday afternoon? No. No, probably not lol! But we don’t do that shit anyways bc I’m an introvert, they all already have kids + they live too fucking far. See, some things will stay the same!
My point is, I’m not going to live in this fear that I will lose myself in motherhood. Instead, I’m choosing to be excited about finding the new me in motherhood. I’m sure she is fantastic, has a great sense of mom-style, has a fat ass (hopefully I get to keep that) + will take this chapter of life by storm💚.