bonnietsang bonnietsang

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BONNIE TSANG  Artist . Creative Director . Mother Passionate about empowering women creatives CEO @bonnietsangstudio / contact : hi@bonnietsang.com

So many things I want to say about this image that was taken from yesterday on Father’s Day and about these three amazing human beings that are in my life. Words can’t describe the mixed feelings I have - love, comfort, gratefulness, guilt... I didn’t stand close to them because I didn’t want to feel the cold muddy water (not a beach fan), I didn’t build sand castle with them because I didn’t want to feel the wet sand and get my hands dirty, I wasn’t super cheery because it was cold. You can call me high maintenance and I wouldn’t disagree, I do feel guilty that I’m not as carefree as they are. But I give my love to them the way I know how and they accept me for who I am. I didn’t think too much of what family mean before, but they’ve given me the definition and I’m grounded because of them. 💕

She is @withmartin’s no. 1 fan.

I love getting morning coffee with my creative friends - we share updates and ideas, we talk about our struggles and we celebrate our wins - and I always leave feeling uplifted. For a long time, I wanted to extend that to a small group of people who are looking for this type of support system, but that would limit it to just Los Angeles (where I live), so I decided to bring this idea online and see where it goes.
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Every Monday morning, I’ll do a half hour online chat on a specific topic or in Q&A style for members of my private Facebook group. It’ll be on Zoom, we’ll see/talk to each other, very interactive. And this coming Monday I’ll be doing my VERY first one ever (subject: Starting Something New). The goal is to help you start the week on a positive note with a community of like minded people. Join the group, see LINK IN PROFILE. (Please DM me if you don’t have an FB account)

I used to think I’d be single forever because I didn’t believe in marriage or forever or committing to anything for more than a year . I used to think I could never be a mom because I could hardly handle my own life. I used to think I’d work for someone else forever because why wouldn’t I? I used to think I would never meet someone again and be married again AND have another kid. Guess I’m just not good at predicting my own life! 🤔 Going with the flow, handling one decision at a time, and trusting life has some fun plans for me.

It’s been months and it’s my turn to put up a new quote (my husband picked this last one), but I can’t think of one that I’m inspired by. (Btw, please comment and share your favorite quote. I need some inspo! 🙏🏼) These days, the more I talk to my female creative friends and connecting with new ones the more I realize change won’t come sooner if we don’t try to take risks and step into a bigger arena that’s been dominate by men. Many women are slowly stepping up, more women are entering the C-suite or becoming business owners, but majority of us are still being careful of the choices we make - “I don’t want to ask for alone time, what if my husband can’t handle the baby?”, “I’m not ready to ask for a raise, let me just have few more great projects, boss is happy, and I’ll bring it up”, “I can’t pay for what you’re asking for because what if tomorrow my business isn’t doing well?”, “The pay is low, but I’ll do it because I have kids to take care of!”, “Can I ask you for help? But only if you’re free and you want to. You don’t have to say yes.”.......
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I had all those thoughts before and sometimes I still do. Women naturally are just caring and nurturing human beings. If others are comfortable, then we can be comfortable. Why am I such an advocate for women to speak up, to ask for what they’re worth, to not be afraid, and not to play small? Because of my two daughters, because I’m a mom and I’m the oldest of my siblings, because I’m an empath. Every time I hear stories from one of you it just hurts my heart and makes me want to hug you and go “tell me who didn’t treat you right, I’ll go kick his a$$!” Having this fire in me is good, it’s what takes me to my higher purpose just like the flame that helps a hot air balloon fly. You will take off, too, when you uncover the fire in you. 🔥
#womenempowerment #womeninbusiness

STILL / from my film archive

Styled and shot something for @morrowsoftgoods that’s what my previous life (before second baby) looked like. Do you keep a journal? There’s something about paper, pen and writing things down. Some of the ideas and thoughts I wrote down these days as I’m putting together weekly morning online chat, curriculum for online classes and expanding the studio (so many ideas, so little time) —
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Move out of the state of fear.
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What if it’s fun and easy? What would the next step be? If there’s something I’m not good at, who can help me solve it?
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“Give value as much as possible. Let money be the indication of commitment, not the value of the conversation.” - Iman Aghay
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Your gift is often the things you undervalue and do well effortlessly. You might even push it aside because it’s not challenging enough. Focus on what comes easy.

I was glad to make it out for a livestream interview (the link is still on my profile if you’re interested to watch) yesterday. It’d be hard to tell that I had just gone through few days of anxiety attack; while not fully back to my whole self, I was at least able to drive and carry on conversations.
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On Friday, I felt something was off - shortness of breath, every little sound hurt my head, heart was racing. The most alarming part was when I was having trouble driving. My mind knew to watch for pedestrian and cars, but my body wasn’t in control and I backed the car or changed lane without looking. I hurried home and told my husband that I didn’t feel right. For the next few days I was either real tired or real sad or real angry, but couldn’t quite explain to my family how I felt, which I knew gave them a tough weekend.
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There are days I know very certain where I want to go in this life and sometimes I have no idea where I’m going. I don’t even know how to end this post. Just want to say that we don’t know what others are battling with everyday. Smiles on someone’s face doesn’t mean they don’t need your love and care. Success doesn’t mean someone doesn’t need your encouragement. We are all equal with life’s ups and downs. Reach out, suffering or not.
#depressionawareness #anxiety

Fried dumplings and ramen for dinner, then head to bed early to prepare for tomorrow’s Live interview with @thechrisdo (11am pst, @thefuturishere YouTube channel). We’ll talk about all things Instagram. Tune in to watch how two introverts do livestream talk and how I lose my train of thoughts. If you can make it, let me know! It’ll help calm my nervousness. 😄

Depression is silent, it eats you up slowly without you knowing. For the ones that haven’t truly experience it, they might ask “why didn’t he talk to someone, why didn’t he reach out and ask for help?” I used to ask those questions too and I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge to be compassion until depression took over me.
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There wasn’t any feeling. I didn’t feel sad, didn’t feel anger, didn’t feel joy, didn’t feel sensation if my skin was being touched - just nothingness. I saw myself walking on the streets with buildings crumbling down next to me and I felt nothing. I was transported to somewhere else, separated from consciousness and just wanted to end it, so that maybe I could feel again. All the while, I still got up everyday to take care of my daughter, to get work done, to answer friends’ texts... Did I think to reach out? No, reaching out and asking for help didn’t show up on my mind. It’s a real painful experience without any pain.
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It’s great that there’s more awareness now and people are sharing the hotline to remind others to call for help, but more importantly reach out to your loved ones - talk to them, pay attention if they’re acting differently, send them your love even if it’s late at night because those quiet nights are the toughest to beat.
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May light and love be with those whom are in the dark right now.

Motherhood doesn’t take over your identity, it amplifies who you are. That’s why one shouldn’t tell moms what to do because no one mother is alike. (Photo by my husband, @withmartin) #motherhood

Different styles. All women.

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