Pariba pa bajo lento lento. New! New! Glow Crop Jacket in Black + Prints added to bigbottombehavior.com 💗💗💗
Sorry I’ve been MIA.
This season my mental has been on the cusp of giving up on all my dreams and years of hard work and going back to Starbucks to make lattes and clean shit. The weight of success, provision and being free of government cheese lays heavy on my shoulders. Self employment is the hardest shit I’ve ever dealt with mentally. Every sale depends on posts I make, photos I take, new and upcoming trends, learning new apps or programs, new designs, manufacturing fucks ups, the season, the climate...all this impacts my day to day no matter how I feel physically or emotionally it doesn’t matter. I have to show up. I’ve worked for the man since I was 14, but I always knew if I worked hard, did my very best and followed the rules I would get a check bi-weekly. No matter what.
Your very best doesn’t count in self employment, uncontrollable situations don’t count. You are a machine. You have to produce no matter what. We have dehumanized and devalued the laborious work people and animals do everyday to bring us fashion, goods, food, EVERYTHING we consume. Honestly I think a part is giant corporations like amazon that ruined us and our patience but this is something I struggle with every single day even if I don’t get to post about it. I’m a passive, gentle natured person so it cuts me to my core when people are so cruel especially about material goods. I’m working on not taking things personally, getting my anxiety under control and also looking to hopefully hire someone soon to help with orders so I can have more time to re find my inspiration for creating and sharing.
Venting to get through today.
I love you.
Back to work. ✌🏼
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