“It’s a picture of God at work.” That’s what @raechelmyers said when she texted me this photo after visiting us on Friday in the PCICU, and she‘s right. This boy—our brave Toby Rex Zhu—is evidence of God’s faithfulness, not just to our family, but to His promise to overcome darkness with light.
This kid is irresistible. He’s like a little gospel lamppost, drawing people in to take a closer look at this uniquely fashioned, shockingly strong, fiercely joyful boy and the God who made Him. Somehow, even when sedated and half asleep, he is showing people who God is and teaching them how to hope. He’s showing me how to pray, pushing me to cry out to God with the boldest requests ever made. In, around, and through the life of Toby Williams, God is proving to be who He’s always been: good.
Tobias, your name means “Yahweh is good,” and your life echoes the declaration with every hard won breath, with every miraculous beat of your mended heart. You are an unspeakable gift. We’re not going anywhere, sweet boy. You are ours and we are yours, and we will stand in this place as long as it takes.
This waiting is the hardest we’ve ever done. We don’t do it perfectly. We’re tired and sad and scared, and I want a fast forward button so badly I could scream. But there is love, joy, and hope so thick in this painful waiting place because God is here. And He is Himself love, joy, and hope—yesterday, today, forever.
This is the God who made our boy. This is the God who makes his heart beat, who fills his lungs with breath. This is the God who does the same for all of us. In ICUs and orphanages and living rooms, He is Yahweh and He is good. All praise be to Him. “We wait for the Lord; he is our help and shield. For our hearts rejoice in him because we trust in his holy name. May your faithful love rest on us, Lord, for we put our hope in you.”
- Psalm 33:20-22