My body image has been so messed up recently, especially since being on holiday. TW~ I feel like when I look at the upper half of my body I can see that I look underweight but my legs are just huge. I'm so out of proportion, like my top half and bottom half belong to completely different people.
My legs have always been my problem area, I know I'll never be comfortable with them. It just makes me feel disgusting and huge whenever I look at them when I'm sitting down, crossing my legs or catch a glimpse of them in a mirror or shop window. This horrible feeling makes it so hard to rationalize my current situation and the fact that I'm not healthy, it confuses me so much! I feel like my eyes are lying to me. The flight home is very early tomorrow morning. I've had such a lovely, relaxing holiday! It's been very challenging, with changing eating habits, times and situations but I think I've managed okay overall. I've got weigh in on Wednesday and I'm already so nervous about it 😬 I don't want to predict a loss because I'm scared that if I get that in my head and I end up gaining, or even maintaining, I'll be in a right state. Dad and my step mum think I've lost, but I can't be certain. I do feel physically worse, fatigued, slower thought process, aching muscles ect, but I personally can't make sense of why I've lost. I'm eating way more than I use to before I went into hospital and I'm feeling a lot healthier than I was then too. Urgh, everything's so confusing right now! Sorry to be annoying and negative guys! Hopefully brighter days are coming soon 💕