beathetree beathetree

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Bea Marshall  Intuitive Parenting Coach | TEDx Speaker | Founder of Yes Parenting | Helping Mums to embrace the magic of YES!

http://www.beamarshall.com/parenting-without-punishment

I am taking a moment to receive.
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This tree is a solid point of contact. I can sense it's energy thrumming through its thick trunk.
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The leaves are creating such wonderful shade as my dog lies panting at my feet.
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My boys are off playing and exploring. I can hear the sweet sound of lots of children having fun. There is bird song too.
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That glimpse of blue sky reminds me that we can hope with confidence. It is safe to have faith - to be sure of what we don't yet see.
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All of this is a Yes.

The darkness needn't be scary.
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I've not posted in ages. Instagram became a place in which parts of me began to fall prey to comparison. Comparison plummets me into insecurity, and old beliefs that I'm not good enough find their way to the surface.
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My rational mind reminds me that a picture may tell a thousand words but it never tells the whole story. I know that so much of our media (social or otherwise) is carefully crafted and is rarely real. I do it myself - who wants to see the accidental photo of my double chin I took while I was trying to take a selfie?!
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Comparison leads to competition. I find myself mentally competing against other women and other Mamas. And within myself the various parts of me compete against each other.
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It's exhausting.
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My body shuts down.
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I learned many years ago, subconsciously, that I can connect to my body through compulsive and binge eating. It is somehow safer for me to sit with the self-inflicted discomfort of too much food in my tummy than it is to sit with the discomfort that comes with so much of my personal development journey.
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I long to be able to sit with my spiritual, emotional and mental discomfort. Because I perceive I can't, in that moment, comparison creeps in again. In my quest to stay away from my own discomfort I see posts by others who are with their discomfort, being present, feeling it fully.
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These experiences roll in like waves in the ocean of my inner world. As the wave crashes I come to a place of acceptance and softening. I find myself able to acknowledge it all and to welcome it. I begin to sit with it, to share it, to receive all its gifts.
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The darkness doesn't need to be scary. It is the place in which stars shine or seeds burst forth with new growth. Darkness can only exist because there is light. .
I'm still in the darkness, currently feeling exhausted and naked. This current process is stripping so much away from me and I have already seen what is waiting for me. The light is definitely at the end of the tunnel.
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Today I am saying Yes to this darkness being a protective womb for this stage of my growth. I imagine it warm and safe with everything I need.
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Love Bea x

Thank you to @foreverfindingout for tagging me in the Twenty Things thingy!
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1. I love fun and I love laughing. I didn't realise how much I loved it until I met my Darling and I've been having fun and laughing ever since.
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2. I was the youngest professional Belly Dancer in the UK when I was younger (obvs) and I stopped because I noticed that the more sexual my dance the more tips I got. This seemed like too slippery a slope to be on.
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3. I am a qualified EFT practitioner and, through my work, have realised that my ultimate goal is to heal the whole world!!! Leading Yes Parenting and using EFT to heal trauma for my clients is the best way I can do this right now.
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4. I proposed to a man who said he had never wanted to get married, and never would, because it was 29th February and it was too good an opportunity to miss. He said Yes!
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5. I love movies and going to the cinema. My first date with my first husband was a 4 movie marathon at the cinema. We started at 11am and finished at 11pm!
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6. Through the @whole30 and my journey of discovery about the impact food can have on our bodies, I have healed myself of bipolar disorder, menstrual migraines, hay fever, 90% of my allergies and 90% of my asthma. I wish doctors first looked to food not to drugs.
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7. Philip Schofield was not the man I thought he'd be when I was on This Morning. It popped a childhood bubble!
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8. One day I will live by the sea. I feel such a connection to the sea and also to any form of running water in nature. Lakes generally bore me.
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9. New York City is one of my most favourite places on earth. Visiting the sex museum there brought so much personal healing and led me to blossom and emerge into my own sexuality.
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10. Bringing a dog into our family has taught me so much about love, being a Mama, friendship, meeting my own needs and so much more. I didn't expect to bond as quickly and as deeply as I did with Coco. I think everyone would benefit from living with a dog at some point in their life.
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11. I love to read and yet I get so caught up in books that I can't put them down. This causes huge sleep deprivation and messes me up for a week at times!
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Cont'd in comments...

I START MY DAYS SLOWLY.
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Recently I haven't wanted to eat meat. It hasn't appealed to me at all and has felt heavy in my body. Instead I've wanted fresh vegetables and lots of them. I've wanted bright colours and food that flows through my body.
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I'm dairy-free, gluten-free and (when not numbing discomfort) sugar-free. This opens up opportunities for me to be creative with my food.
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Breakfast today is a tomato and avocado omelette with a mug of hot water. And this book. Sent to me by the ever beautiful and love-filled @maryt_sabo. I am enjoying what it is bringing to me each day.
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How do you start your days?
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What feels like a big, fat Yes to you?
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Love Bea x
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

What a wonderful few days spent in the South of France. We rested, ate amazing food, spent time with my parents and my sister and her babies. And we also mowed lots and lots of grass!
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Now at the airport drinking Earl Grey while we wait to fly home.
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Did I miss anything while I've been away?!
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Xx

Here's a simple way to bring more Yes into your life, not just your parenting.
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Peace, joy and connection are all human needs. When you are not pursuing a Yes to meeting each of them then you will be out of balance.
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When we're out of balance we can feel stressed, low, frazzled, irritated and even bored.
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With our kids, it's out job to meet their needs. What better way to help us get back on track than to focus on finding a Yes to all of our peace, joy and connection.
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Every now and then I lose sight of Yes and this affirmation brings me right back to it.
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Where can you find more Yes to peace, joy and connection with yourself and your kids?
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Love Bea x
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

Becoming a Mama doesn't have to stop you being you.
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You can still grow.
You can still learn new things.
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I love getting older. I love seeing all the new things I can do with my brain and my body. My body is strong and capable.
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My body has grown and birthed two awesome humans earthside.
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My body has never been the same since.
It is stronger.
It is more flexible.
It is more capable.
It is fitter.
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6 weeks ago I started Ashtanga yoga. I hadn't done any yoga for about two years and before that only bits and bobs. .
I have fallen in love with moving this way. .
3 weeks ago I started to play around with putting weight on my head. It was so painful and uncomfortable.
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I persevered.
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Today I did it. My first ever headstand. I couldn't even do them when I was a kid. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to do one!
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Nothing is impossible.
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Love your body and embrace it. It absolutely loves you back.
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Love Bea Xx
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

I thought I'd share some simple tips and affirmations that can support your Yes Parenting journey.
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It's easy, as parents, to think we know best. When we slip into this we begin to advise our children on what we think they should do or why we think they did something.
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No one likes being told what to do or why they did something!
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When we invite our children to consider their choices from other angles we are finding a Yes to their need for autonomy, choice and independence. We are also finding a Yes to our child's unique developmental stage.
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In order to grow up successfully our children need to have space to make mistakes. They need to make bad choices even though we've given them opportunities to consider other angles. A respectful and loving childhood is a safe space for these mistakes to be made.
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As our children grow up they learn from their mistakes. They also learn from us because we have developed a relationship full of trust and connection.
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Inviting your child to consider their choices from another angle isn't an invitation for you to tell them what you think or to point out where they might have got it wrong! Invitations give the person on the receiving end freedom to accept or decline. Being able to flow with this, as a parent, is another huge Yes to your child.
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Got questions? Please ask!
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Love Bea xx
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

Every child is different.
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Both my boys love to jump into my arms for a hug. Jos has become so heavy that I can't lift him beyond where he wraps his legs around my body.
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Peep on the other hand soars through the air right up high, much like he has done ever since he was little. He'll be 13 this summer.
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I love that these moments are part of my day every day. I always dreamed of having this level of connection, joy, trust and fun with my boys.
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We talk about how much longer we'll still be able to hug like this. It may stop because they get too big or it may stop because their teenage hormones don't want it.
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Whatever lies ahead I have these moments now.
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What are the daily moments you have that are exactly what you dreamed of?
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Love Bea Xx
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

#theyesparentingbook
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I'm finally writing again. Well, reading what I've already written and tweaking it, correcting spelling mistakes and typos.
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I had a huge shift in the past 24 hours thanks to some layers of gunk being cleared out. Can you believe that I was still subconsciously being affected by some boy who once told me, during some teenage fumbling, that "your body doesn't work right. Other girls like it when I do this."?
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At 39 this came crashing in to my world. I don't even remember that boy's name or face but his words stuck. A message that somehow I wasn't good enough, I didn't work properly and I didn't compare well to other girls.
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No wonder I look at the other Mamas who have their books written, their following of 30k on Instagram and their stylish instagram feeds and am drawn into that comparison trap. .
Thanks to a nurturing Skype call with a precious friend I found my way back to what it means to be a woman, to do things in a woman's way. Collaboration not competition. Encouragement not bitching.
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Here is a sample from what I've already written. I'm going to need so much support to write this book. I'm so grateful for those who believe in me.
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I'm also grateful for teenage fumbling and a boy who didn't know any better. It was the tipping point out of comparison and into being the potential that I am.
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Love Bea X

Day 10 of our Birthday celebrations (the final day!)
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Happy Birthday Jos!
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Today my youngest son turns 11. He came into the world in his own special way - his cord couldn't cope with the greatness of his being and snapped on delivery. I felt my second stage of labour in such clear detail and I remember my midwives being confused because what I experienced didn't make sense.
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Jos doesn't always make sense. Because of this I am always learning from him.
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He overflows with exuberant energy and a thirst for knowledge. He is wild and creative and so very very annoying! Of all the people in the world who might receive the gift of farting on demand it had to go to him - the boy who delights in making the most of it (and then some!). .
My boy is so precious. He overflows with love and affection which he shows in such lovely ways.
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I am so grateful to be chosen by him to raise him. He says he chose me because I would say Yes a lot! .
Happy Birthday Jos! πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

Day 4 of our birthday celebration week.
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So many wonderful moments today and I've been trying to remember to video them as much as possible.
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Jos is my youngest and he is so precious especially in his love of creatures. I love at the very end when he goes to get water because one of Bob's toes are dry.
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Thank you @tempestbeauty for reminding me of the importance of catching moments. πŸ’žπŸ’ž
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What moments have you been noticing?
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Love Bea x
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#gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #peacefulparenting #familyliving #bringingbackthevillage #uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodthroughinstagram #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #dailyparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #yesparenting #discoveringyes #raisingboys #raisinggirls #normalizegentleparenting #parentingcoach #beamarshall #parentingwithoutpunishment

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