bad_dadu bad_dadu

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Bad Dadu  Bad Dadu, the baddest dad in town. Bad as in rubbish. Sharing the benefit of his parenting expertise. So you can ignore it.

Candy floss-flavoured grapes are great, but what about cabbage that tastes of toffee?

100% I’m falling into this by the end of the night.

This was the only clean tie I could find.

Why is the easiest piece of clothing to get dirty also the most difficult one to get clean?

Think some of these dogs have taken ‘CUDDLE’ too far. 🐶💓

ADVICE FOR SMALL CHILDREN:
Write a letter of apology to your mum or dad when you’ve really stepped out of line. It will pretty much excuse any bad behaviour. Your parents’ anger will melt away into admiration and love. Sprinkle some spelling mistakes in there to show you’ve really struggled and slaved over it. The effect will be even greater. They’ll completely forget that you’ve been ‘nugte’. ADULTS: You can probably use this technique as well if you’ve been nugte. Although I suggest that your spelling and grammar is spot on or it’s just annoying and you will compound your misdemeanour. Probably combine it with flowers, alcohol, Revels, whatever, otherwise you’ll seem cheap.

Either my son has embarked on a career in art forgery or Banksy’s been....

I saw these in a gift shop yesterday and wondered how much demand there could possibly be for personalised Martin stickers. Had a look at the baby name records and turns out there were 207 Martins born last year. In fact, Martins have been steadily on the rise for the last ten years.
To compare, there were 246 Alans, 131 Pauls, 59 Raymonds, 25 Craigs, 15 Trevors, 11 Nigels, 7 Rogers, 4 Clives and not a single Cliff.
What’s wrong with Cliff? #bringbackcliff

Most Instagrammable day of the year so far apparently.

As you can see, my son loves his spelling homework.

Shame he can’t show more enthusiasm.
Perhaps then he could write about how I want to *bang* my head against the wall.

Yesterday morning I had to ask my son to remove a crumpet he’d placed on his willy (he sometimes eats breakfast naked). Yesterday afternoon he brought home some cupcakes that he’d baked with Granny.

I haven’t tried any yet.

It’s National Poetry Day so it’s now customary to share one of only two poems I’ve written in adulthood.
The other one was a poem that I wrote to my girlfriend and it’s way too soppy and personal to publish on here. But I will say that my girlfriend is now my wife. BOOM.

This frog may look all wide-eyed and innocent but it just shat out some revolting green grot into my sons’ otherwise pristine bath.

It’s hard enough cleaning up my kids’ bodily fluids without the toys getting in on the act 🐸 💩

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