@daniel_low proposed to me on the 9th of April 2018, the western “down-on-one-knee-will-you-marry-me” style. It was super simple and intimate, just a promise made between the two of us. We broke the news to our parents and they gave their blessings. As we live abroad, we decided to skip most of the Malay and Chinese pre-wedding traditions, such as merisik, majlis bertunang, Chinese’s betrothal ceremony “Guo Da Li” which is similar to the malay’s formal engagement ceremony or majlis bertunang. I’m super glad that both of our parents didn’t make any fuss about it (my parents were actually quite happy to skip all the ceremonies) and trusted us as two adults to make our own decisions and wedding arrangements.
I remember somebody was asking my mom during raya “Oh bila Atira buat majlis bertunang?” and my mom just replied “Diaorang bertunang sendiri-sendiri je. Masing-masing dah besar”. Last weekend Daniel’s mom and brother came to meet my family at our house in KL for the first time to get to know each other. I’m happy to hear that they had a lovely time and got along so well.
Of course there’s nothing wrong with following the traditions and it would actually be really nice if we were able to do it. I’m not disregarding the importance culture and traditions but sometimes it is okay to skip or simplify them and do what works best for you. In our case it’s just logistically difficult and we are more than happy to spare ourselves the trouble of organizing those ceremonies (not to mention the unnecessary spending). We would rather reserve our energy and spending on the actual wedding ceremony itself and will try our best to bring the two cultures together on the big day ♥️