#thevulnerabilitychallenge For a while I have felt completely disconnected from my authentic self, my passions, purpose, goals, and visions for life. I can even now say I've been going through some serious depression without even realizing it. Yes there were certain things that helped me feel more connected and real times I felt happy, excited, and motivated but they were few and the feeling was very temporary. For the most part it was hard for me to wake up and get out of bed EVERY morning but I did it because I didn't want to let people down. I felt Exhausted. Demotivated. Uninspired. Lonely. Insecure. Unworthy. Unlovable. Unhappy. Tired of having responsibility. Tired of having to think about other people. There were a lot of days I wanted to leave everyone and everything and run away. Instead I found myself going through my daily motions of life, so it seemed, feeling like I had so much to do yet also like I was doing nothing at all. Slowly drifting away from everything I had worked so hard on many years before. I didn't notice how much I was falling off, because half the time I said fuck it, and justified my actions, ignoring my results. One day I looked in the mirror and cried because I literally didn't recognize myself. No matter how hard I pretended, my internal reality was seeping through my pores unable to be ignored any longer. I didn't know who I was anymore. I can now see how I've been looking for something to save me. Anything. (Especially the gym). Only to come back to the obvious answer, that I've known all along but fearful to face...I can only save myself! It's easy to "know" what to do, but takes action to actually do it. It's easy to post inspirational shit, but takes courage to live it. The answer is never out there, it's always within. We can't run away from ourselves. Today is exactly 3 months from my birthday. I will be 34. It's time! It's time to really realize and actualize how fuckin powerful, worthy, loveable, and amazing I am. I'm tired of letting other people and things have control over that. So I made myself an action plan to take care of myself. To reconnect. IT STARTS WITH VULNERABILITY. Welcome to my REAL journey!!