To be completely fucking real, this transformation hurts still to see. Despite the patience and strength I had to get through it, it breaks me at the same time. Not because I am weak but because I see the girl crying for help because she didn’t know how to help herself. I had turned on myself and hated “me” for everything possible. I was at a negative on the self love scale. Believe it or not, the picture on the left from 2015 wasn’t even me at my worst. That’s sad to admit but true. I have been to the point of skin and bones where people would ask if I was eating or if I was depressed. The answer was yes to both. I didn’t have an eating disorder (atleast not at this point, I did have binge eating in 2016-17). I was eating around 2000cals a day but severely depressed. The depression took my body through hell and back. I put the responsibilities on others to make me feel good because I had lost hope in myself. I would cry over the smallest things and seeked love as well as acceptance from anyone and everyone who was willing to give it. I look at that girl and feel all the pain rushing back. Although people may make it through a transformation and “recover,” it doesn’t mean that they don’t still struggle. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t still fighting it daily or in pain. It’s a battle and a story. We all have them and some are just surviving in the end versus actually living. Like most, I’ve gone through all shapes and sizes. I’ve been in all sorts of different mental states and mindsets. Some really good and some really bad. I’m here to tell you the raw truth, IT FUCKING SUCKS 10000% BUT YOU CAN DO IT. You can and will be strong enough to get to the other side. It may not be your final destination and along the journey will come other bridges to cross & detours to take but you will get there. No matter how long it takes, how hard it gets or how badly you want to quit on yourself. DON’T! Don’t be like the old me and lose all hope. Don’t be like the old me and think that trying and failing once means to stop completely. I believe in you like I should have believed in myself from the beginning. And Incase no one has told you today, I love you & you’re beautiful ❤.