Here's a picture of me a few weeks ago, happy as could be with my body. But right now I'm honestly the least confident I've been in over a year. Last week, I was shopping in downtown Manhattan after trying many other places with mediocre results. On my way to one of the bigger chain stores, I saw some other name-brand stores with cute clothes. I'd go up to an employee ask what size they went up to and hear a size I couldn't fit into. This happened again and again, for about half an hour. I had this moment where I found a 1x and I was so happy until it turned out to be the baggiest pair of sweatpants I'd ever tried on in my life. I was looking at myself in the mirror of this changing room, and I felt the little girl with low self esteem--who's still inside me after all these years--start to cry. I went back to a point in my life where I was told that nice and trendy clothes weren't meant for me. That my body wasn't good enough to wear skinny jeans or to dress up in something nice. Am I in the best shape of my life? No. But I am happier with my body than I've ever been. I wasn't happy at a size 4 but at a size 14(1x in most things) I've finally learned to love myself. My legs are sturdy and take me where I need to go (and can do squats like a mofo) My arms are strong and can lift things for my mom. My tummy is natural and soft and beautifully curved. My feet are often sore and tired from work but they do so much for me. My whole body does so much for me. And I won't let anyone tell me it's not worthy of dressing up ever again. I am not less than someone because I am bigger. I am strong and lovely too. But being "plus size" is more than a label. It's a seperation. A separation from the rest of fashion. Clothing doesn't fit me the same as someone at a size 0 and designers have gotten lazy and taken to telling bigger women that they're the problem. I'm sick of being judged unworthy. I'm sick of people telling me it's a health issue when I see a fashion industry that breeds eating disorders. I don't want to be smaller. I just want more options .
#plusIsEqual #curvemodel #plusmodel #pmmlovemybody #psfashion #plussize #plussizemodel #curvesarein #bodypositive #bopo